so it's been years since i have had the inclination to finish lexie
my novel - the novel i've written 81,000+ words of - the novel that has laid dormant for the best part of 10 years - how did that happen?
i guess primarily, life happened!
so i'm going to try and summarise the high and low points, because, in reality the low points are what's really gotten in the way....
so lexie (that's note the title, that's my protagonist) is about a 30 something trying to find her way, and i guess truth is, when i was writing her, I hadn't found my way....and i'm way clearer now....
sure, some of the things that will be resolved for lexie are unresolved for me, but mostly, i'm in a much better place and that will, i think, allow me to create an ending for her that i'll be happy with....
so after a lovely chat with Michelle (one of my dear friends, and the sister of one of my high school best friends, whom i no longer talk to and haven't for many years) where my book came up (not sure how actually), i realised that i finally had the itch! and no, i'm not talking about some unwanted STD, I'm talking about the writing itch...
so much so that I decided to apply to the Australian Writers Centre (Write your Novel) for the 2nd time in 7 years, and this time, i'm determined! and i got accepted!
so the lows in the time since i started writing (some of which have been well documented in the blog, although i have not been a frequent blogger of late - something else i'd like to remedy) largely relate to more failed relationships with emotionally unavailable men, and not one, but two horrendous professional endings (one not of my own choosing, the other well orchestrated (if I do say so myself) so that financially it didn't leave me in a hole....but all of this led me to move home to Canberra - a place I never thought i would return to, but it has been a fabulous move for me.....closer to my mum and dad and after five and a half years here, i have really built a life for myself
and now, more than 5 years on since leaving the latter crap workplace, i find myself doing work I absolutely love and about to celebrate 5 years in my own little business....
running a business isn't without it's issues/concerns but comparatively it is absolutely a million times better than putting up with other people's crap behaviour....
i remember doing a Group Therapy module when I was studying to be a Counsellor and we had to create a notional group, along with a brochure etc. it's funny when i look back that i am now, essentially doing that sort of work...
longer term my biz will morph once more - i envisage (maybe) a wonderful space where clients come to me - at the moment I'm very fortunate to have the use of offices in town for no cost (blessed)....but i'd like to create something more welcoming, more reflective of me and the work that i do....one day!
i wrote the following notes the other day about the things i needed to attend to in lexie's journey:
- self acceptance
- belief in self
- broadened definition of love
- trust
and you know the funny thing? the reason I was blocked previously was because I couldn't write about these things from a place of personal experience....i can't say that I'm 100% but I am WAY closer than I was then....
so lexie's happy ending awaits, and perhaps mine too!
