our work is never done...

and by that i am not referring to 'a woman's work is never done'...

nope, i'm talking about the work that is our quest to understand ourselves and to become the person we want to be

the integrated person

the one who's shadow is out in the open

the one who's shadow doesn't subconsciously, or worse, unconsciously, drive how we behave...

and inadvertently, over the last few days i've been presented with a test...

so on friday, i visited a male friends house for the first time

some background

my dad introduced me to his boss - his boss recommended i meet this guy (he's responsible for leadership stuff in the organisation he works in) - i met the guy once or twice at his office - we had lots in common - found we have great conversations - we started having lunch or coffee and have been doing that for the best part of 18 months...

he's a nice guy - i love talking to him - we have real conversations - conversations of depth and meaning - he's in a relationship - his 2nd big one - he has kids from a former marriage (in their 20's) and a 5-7 year old with the current partner (i don't know if they are married)

in the course of our discussions it's emerged that he cheated on wife number 1

in our first non office meeting he asked me if i was seeing anyone - i assumed he was just trying to get to know me better

so on friday, some 5.5 hours after he had asked me if a mutual friend was 'dodgy' (by which he meant, does he cheat on his wife) he sends me the following text:

'thanks for coming by.  always a pleasure to talk - and once again the time just goes too quickly.  i think that it's time to add that if ever you feel that something more between us might be a good thing, i'm happy to explore that conversation............................'

WTF?

it took me hours to think about how to respond, and the more i thought about it over the weekend, the more incensed i became

my bff from Sydney was here - we talked about it

my bff from high school came round for tea today - we talked about it

and actually, i'm now a bit angry - the old me would have been 'flattered' but actually how is it flattering that someone in a relationship thinks that i would view this 'offer' as positive?

and sure, i have had affairs before

a LONG time ago

in a time when i didn't believe i was worthy of an actual relationship

but i am no longer than girl

so as the time has worn on since his text, and my response (which I wish was slightly different) i am angry

angry that he thinks i would be interested in the sort of thing he has in mind - and true, i'm not entirely sure what i think he does have in mind, but in any event, he has a partner - did i mention that?

anyway, point is really that whilst our work is never done, in this regard, i think mine is

best part about that is that i can work on the stuff that remains 'un-done'...ha ha!

ciao for now

S
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