rejection, or is it?

so this post was inevitable!

late last year i was introduced to a company here in the capital; they provide consulting/training to public sector clients...i met with the principal and his offsider and in early january they reached out asking if i could assist them to get some of their materials into shape...

if i am 100% honest with myself i wasn't that excited about taking their current materials and making them into something else, especially without the likelihood of being asked to then deliver the programs (and sure, i absolutely understand that he needed to see my work and how i operate before unleashing me on clients)...

so then imagine how i felt when the principal (in a meeting to talk about what he wanted) he not only shared with me copies of the materials of his competitors, but said he 'stole' their models; now admittedly, he may have said this in jest....but i didn't feel comfortable then

then, the 2nd time i met him, he kept saying things which made me think he wanted me to do the work (writing training materials) in their offices, which would make it difficult for me to continue running my own business..

then it took them at least one follow up to send me a contract, and when they did send me one, it was one which had not been tailored for the work i was to do, and in my view onerous...

so i made some suggestions about changes, which his offsider was fine with....but i wasn't surprised when he called me this morning to say that 'he'd like to go in a different direction and wouldn't be proceeding'

so, what have i learned?

firstly, it's OK to feel disappointed
it's probably not wise to think of that disappointment as rejection - truth is, i didn't want to do the work under his conditions
secondly, disappointment and rejection are going to happen, in life, in business so best i use this as a way to learn how to handle it :-)

most importantly i think it's a really useful reminder of those automatic old patterns which don't necessarily continue to serve us...

and it's important to remember that my gut is good - it's had plenty of practice and i would like to learn to trust it more