but i am really
struggling! it's very hard not to make contact with him...
but i was
pleasant when i saw him at work (albeit briefly in the corridor)...i smiled and
said hi, he said hi (i think) and looked sheepish....
however, we have
progress! 25 hours on and i have not initiated any non work related contact...
very proud of
self :-)
perhaps, this is
the very reason he has appeared? so that i can kick this
addiction/habit/pattern once and for all? and whilst i don't like to be so
cold/clinical as to think of him as a practice run/experiment....well, maybe he
is?
after all, he's
the one who appeared to get cranky when i wouldn't shag him! so what do i care?
i do actually,
but as someone pointed out to me today - there has to be more than chemistry...
and you know
what? there isn't that much! sure i have a fascination in getting to know more
about him (that's the coach/therapist in me), i am intrigued he can be so rude,
he's shown an interest in me...yes, all of these are true, but these are not
things about HIM that i like - they are just things!
so, i think i'm
going to do a list of all the things i like (may not take long!)....and a list
of the things i don't like (this list will be much easier and of course started
some time ago)....
soo, the
struggle has gotten easier as the day has gone on...yay me for not giving in!
yay yay yay!
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