Tuesday, April 10, 2012

oh, and whilst i'm on the soapbox...

i just thought of something else!

so, i was beating myself up on the weekend for not being able to 'be' my true self (or the self i wanted to be with him) and thinking that was because there is something wrong with me?

well, actually, maybe it was, subconsciously a protection, so that i didn't allow him to see the real me, maybe i didn't want him to? maybe i wasn't ready to share that 'sarah' with him, after all, what had he done to deserve that?

other than told me that having period pain was 'convenient' and getting cranky when i wouldn't stay...yep, maybe he wasn't meant to see that side of me....

something to ponder there!  it never occurred to me that i might need to feel safe enough, comfortable enough to let my veneer down....well, of course it occurred to me, it just didn't occur to me on Sunday in the midst of my melt down...

shame, really, might have helped me!

anyway, meltdown over! recovery phase, recovery phase well and truly underway...

oh and thanks to my lovely neighbour Fiona, who reminded me that 'chemistry' is not enough....thanks love x

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