so, i was
beating myself up on the weekend for not being able to 'be' my true self (or
the self i wanted to be with him) and thinking that was because there is
something wrong with me?
well,
actually, maybe it was, subconsciously a protection, so that i didn't allow him
to see the real me, maybe i didn't want him to? maybe i wasn't ready to share
that 'sarah' with him, after all, what had he done to deserve that?
other than
told me that having period pain was 'convenient' and getting cranky when i
wouldn't stay...yep, maybe he wasn't meant to see that side of me....
something to
ponder there! it never occurred to me that i might need to feel safe
enough, comfortable enough to let my veneer down....well, of course it occurred
to me, it just didn't occur to me on Sunday in the midst of my melt down...
shame,
really, might have helped me!
anyway,
meltdown over! recovery phase, recovery phase well and truly underway...
oh and thanks
to my lovely neighbour Fiona, who reminded me that 'chemistry' is not
enough....thanks love x
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