surely not

I can't like him? can I? really?

seriously can't find many traits I like, and sure I don't know him that well, hardly at all really...

but seriously!!! he can be rude, he smokes, like a chimney, he's awkward, or maybe he's just awkward around me...he doesn't appear to have any EQ...

so why then?

chemistry?

attraction?

bizarre really! not sure i know what's going on...

oh well least I don't feel quite so undone as I did lastnight...

scariest thing is how very FAMILIAR all of this feels....gotta be a lesson in that.  gotta be!

sigh...