a low point...

yep, that's what today has been and yes i'm sick, yes i've spent most of the day sleeping and yes i'm struggling with the enormity of the chris stuff that has made an unwelcome re-appearance, but i wasn't expecting to feel so bad...

it's WAY beyond the mean reds, or is it? maybe that's what i should do...pull Audrey out of the cupboard and get my Breakfast at Tiffany's fix...that movie, and watching her, always makes me feel better...even though it's a bloody sad story...

watched Brokeback Mountain today for the first time ever - truly beautiful movie...so very very sad...

so i'm kinda sad, definitely sick, a bit distracted and glad tomorrow is friday, so there is (if i make it to work tomorrow) only one day to get through before a weekend

thankfully i saw fit to book in a session with Sal this weekend - ordinarily i don't go weekly (well, i haven't for a while), but the realisations of last week are playing on my mind and i'm feeling very fragile...so i'm looking forward to getting some support from her...

and with that support, i hope comes a bit more clarity, way more self control and the ability to hear and listen to my lovely little 13 year old shadow, who is so broken...but i think, if she's heard, she's gonna start to get better...

let's hope i'm right!