Wednesday, March 21, 2012

heavy hearted....

is how i have felt today...

hasn't helped that i think my body is also fighting the flu

i feel heavy hearted, ripped off, sad, angry, as if so much has been taken from me, and tired, tired of having to keep this secret...

yep, i'm over it! it's true...and so once again, the long journey of trying to 'integrate' (let's go with that instead of get over, or move on, or whichever other expressions seem to be the norm) it all...

kinda sad, that today, for the first time in a long long long time, i realised that i am unlikely to have kids now, and mostly i'm ok with that, but today, i really wasn't

and i feel like Chris has stolen that from me...kids, a happy and normal relationship, marriage, ability to trust etc etc

bastard...

yep, so because of that, i feel heavy of heart today, and honestly, wishing things might have turned out differently...

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