perhaps i should also be saying au revoir to the idea of something with a certain someone? not sure...
i think too much stuff from my past is present right now and having the space to work through that, without distraction, seems a good idea...on the other hand, perhaps the distraction is a good way to heal the past? and without the 'distraction' of one FC, i'm certain some of the 'chris' stuff would not have resurfaced...
and even though it's difficult right now, and i'm distracted, and angry, and sad, i think it's obviously time for me to confront it...by it, i refer mainly to the dysfunctional patterns i have around intimacy and relationships with men...
yep, seems that perhaps this is in the way...
so, the 'getting drunk together' session is definitely not happening next weekend, maybe that's good? i really really need to get some focus back into my work - there are at least 2 big projects/initiatives that i want to roll out before June and they are going to be rather consuming...
that and finishing the novel and attending a, wait for it, editing group...gasp! OMG what was i thinking when i enrolled for that? i'm going to have to give my work to others, not just friends, and readers, but other writers...eek!
so as i wind down and hope for a good nights sleep (they have been sorely lacking of late), i am going to try and focus on the patterns of my past, so that i am very very clear what they are...that way, if they even look like making an appearance, i can cut them off at the pass!
fingers crossed...
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