mmmm G is back!

yep, got home tonight and realised that i had taped NCIS LA so tonight I got to have dinner with G...yum! i do love that man (well, the character anyway)...

when did i get so busy? when did i get so busy that i hardly ever find time to update the blog? seriously? well, probably around the same time that i took this job...

this job...which is keeping me busy, and this job, that i LOVE! seriously, haven't loved a job for ages - combination of a coupla things makes it enjoyable and fulfilling...just so glad i decided to do it as it has certainly enriched my life, made me feel a part of something, re-established a routine, given me somewhere to go each day and allowed me to connected to a much bigger and more accessible network...all good!

mum has her 2nd surgery this coming friday and my fingers and toes are crossed that it a) goes without incident and b) means they have got all of the cancer and she can move on with her life...it's been a very stressful time and one i hope she, and we, don't have to go thru again...so universe, if you are listening...please...

and sadly, my friend Ossie died on my Daniel's 10th birthday - he was only 57 and so so so young to die...it's heartbreaking for Deb, it was disturbing to see him the way he was - a shadow of his former self...

forever in our hearts dear Ossie, may you now rest in peace...

it's funny to think that i used to find time almost every day, sometimes more than once a day, to write my blog, and now it seems that weeks go by in between posts...

guess that's a good thing! or is it?

ciao xx

and the bad news keeps on coming...

at the moment...seriously, WTF?

so we were just starting to get back to normality (whatever that is...especially for our family) and mum finds out that there are rogue cells in the outer part of the lump they removed a coupla weeks ago - so she's going back in next friday so they can take out more tissue...

honestly, it's not bad bad news, it's just a hiccup and little hump in the road, but it's really set my dad back...

so hopefully this time they will get it all - gotta think positively - still nothing in lymph and only radiotherapy to come...

sadder news is my friend Ossie who is really not doing so well...he's been in hospital for weeks with liver/kidney and a variety of other issues and today has really taken a turn for the worse....i suspect, but sincerely hope i'm wrong, that he may not survive what is going on in his body...so universe if you are listening, please look over him and my Mum....

and please please please arrange for some good news...

thank you

xx

weird...

how someone you haven't thought about for ages, suddenly pops up...in your mind that is...and in my case in my dreams, well one of them anyway...

disturbing...

disturbing and yet interesting, as historically, i have observed that i rarely (if ever) dream about someone whilst they are 'in' my life...men anyway, it only seems that they start to appear in my dreams when i am starting to feel 'over' (if i can use that word, which i don't really like) them...

sooo interesting it is, although the dream itself was a little disturbing, and not in a bad way, just that he was in my dreams and even though i have had so much going on (both at work and in my personal life) of late, it's amazing that my mind even has time to remember him, let alone have him turn up in my dream...

can't even remember exactly what the context was or what happened in the dream, but i do remember waking up disturbed that he was in it....and of course, the inevitable reminder of all that was and what he did etc etc

and the realisation that it's NEVER gonna go away...what he did is always going to be there and in many ways has (despite my best efforts) gotten in the way some how...

yep, he has gotten in the way of what i wanted for myself in one area of my life...

thankfully the other areas all seem relatively good and 'on track' so to speak..

so, it was weird to have him turn up in my dream, and somewhat unwelcome, so universe (or should i say mind!), please avoid having him appear in future dreams...

nite x

phew...

is really all i can say! mum had a successful lumpectomy on tuesday - surgeon reckons they got it all, and confirmed there was no cancer in the lymph nodes...great news! big big sigh of relief...

mum recovering well, dad doing better now and it was so nice to be home for a few days...

back to reality now, although reality seems WAY better now we know mum will be ok...

grateful...x