and

suddenly it doesn't feel so bad...

so having spent a couple of minutes during the day (that's all i had in an otherwise very busy and good day) thinking about my realisation of this morning, i reached out to my friend Nat for some moral support...

she got how i was feeling (angry, pissed off and annoyed that venting my anger at him is no longer an option) and we talked about it, and then i asked how she was...

well, we had a lengthy chat about what's going on for her and in lending support to her, i felt better suddenly, and reminded of who i am and what i stand for...

it's true - a problem shared is a problem halved...

she also provided an interesting perspective on it and suggested that most likely his way of trying to get me to contact him was to arrange these so called friends to unfriend me, knowing how i might react and lash out...

well, that was the old me, she definitely woulda done that, but not now...

sure, i'm angry (angry as hell actually), but i'm not going to fall into this little trap, and whilst it pains me to do nothing, the only way i can ever put this shit with him behind me and move on, and to regain my personal power is to do nothing...

so, nothing it is!

and suddenly, it doesn't seem so bad after all...

nite x

ps sending out hugs and love to my friend Ossie who had a biopsy today...hoping for good news, so universe if you are listening, please let him be ok...thank you