is it possible i've been bugged?

really, is it? that's the only plausible explanation for what happened today...

so as you know i have struggled with eradicating a certain someone from my life...the last few weeks i have felt as though i have done it and pretty well...sure the odd lapse back into fantasy land has punctuated and otherwise chris free few weeks....

so today (refer previous post on my epiphany) i finally feel ready to cut all contact...the realisation was a big one and as i walked (in the freezing cold) from therapist to train station i started to feel really good about it all...and even contemplated the 'unfriending' whilst on train (couldn't go thru with it, alas, but it will come)...

so imagine my surprise when i'm in a meeting and i see his number flash up...and then i realise it's not a text, he's actually calling me...

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

so i don't answer (obviously) but it throws me...talking about him and it earlier and then to see his number, it really does throw me and noticing he hasn't left a vm i find myself sending a text asking if he called me...he says he tried, i tell him i'm in meetings all afternoon, and he says did you take that job?

weird...not only a weird conversation - no doubt he's calling because i didn't respond to his text of saturday night but also i wonder if it's possible that in some cosmic way, he could know about my earlier realisation - is it possible in some bizarre and completely 'out there' (i know i know you think i'm insane) way, is it possible the universe wants us to have something of an ongoing relationship?

this can't be possible...can it?

so my only other thought is that he has me bugged and so just when i'm getting ready to leave him and our history behind, he makes contact...

bloody nightmare! whether it's the universe, the cosmos or a bug i don't care...but it's making it hard...not hard enough that i won't eventually prevail (no way) but hard...and confusing...

hmmmm