fuck....

really, that's all i can say...

so following my evening with my lovely friend Annie last night, where i recounted the story with you know who....basically we were lamenting the fact that it had been 5 months since we have caught up (really, can time go that quickly?), i was feeling really good...

i am still feeling good, and i had the loveliest day! i enjoyed my walk in the sun and went a way i hadn't previously been and stumbled across a park that i didn't even know existed....and i have lived here over 7 years! oops...

as i was making my way home though i realised how happy i was, and how grateful for where i live, where my life is at right now...you know those moments where you wouldn't change a thing? yep, well i had one of those...even after the bizarre dream where you know who had sent me a text...even after spending a bit of time last night thinking about him...

and now, just as i'm about to sit down and do some work, a text comes in.....from him!

and it's funny because i'm not surprised to see his number, but i don't know what to do...

reply or ignore?

and of course i am left wondering 2 things:

firstly, should i have SHUT the door entirely? and secondly, why is it that the very minute i feel happy, he seems to re-appear? it's as if he knows, as if he has some inside knowledge??

sooo, i'm thinking for now, at least, i'm just going to ignore it...wonder how long i'll be able to do that???

on another note, feeling very very good about the other 'conversation' i need to have...i finally feel as though my capable 42 year old is ready to go into bat on my behalf, and not the 5 year old child who feels the need to prove herself! yay...now let's see where that ends up :-)

nite....dinner, footy and possibly tennis watching for me tonight xx