both really helped...as well as me actually admitting, not only to myself, but to a good friend and my therapist, that i actually was feeling very very anxious...
great session with Sal today...it's such a plus to have a therapist who has worked hard to understand you (me in this case), who is not judgemental and who speaks your language...
the post of earlier was really spot on, and what i really need to think about in coming weeks, is whether or not i could work for this woman and find a way to moderate the feelings she evokes in me...and as yet, i have not worked out a) how she does this or b) what exactly she is tapping into in me, but i have to tell you, today was not good...
scary thing is, the phone call with her was absolutely fine! she wasn't rude, demanding and other than the fact that she did ring when i told her i wouldn't be available....so, some thinking to do there! what is it in me that she sparks off? how do i feel when i'm with her (and not always, because this is the first time i have ever felt quite so anxious and doubting)...
dunno! a bit stumped really, but i'm gonna think about it...coz one thing i know for sure is this: if i do decide to take the job, i do NOT want to feel like i did today every day...so methinks i need some strategies, but first i gotta work out what the strategies are safeguarding against!
hmmmm
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