sigh...

yep, that's how i feel this afternoon

i had a lovely (but tiring) weekend with Nat in Brisbane...nothing like re-connecting with old friends! we had such a nice time, saw her hubby, met her lovely kids, met her friends, shopped (too much), ate (too much) and generally had a lovely time just hanging out and catching up on life...

slept ok last night but am still exhausted today and feel a bit lost :-(  and of course that could be because once home i am bored, not bored with my home per se, but bored because i don't yet know what will become of the potential job and haven't got 5 days of work lined up - am pretty busy this week, as it happens, but i just don't feel enthused about it...sure, the 2 coaching sessions i am going to do will be great, but the rest...well, i could take or leave that (mental note to self: given the amount of money you have outlaid in recent weekends away, best you 'take it' so that it makes some dent in the impending credit card bill...)

could also be the sinus infection i have been fighting for over a week - must say, Aldi sinus tablets are proving quite effective and they are all natural :-) could also be the most painful period i've had in ages and the 2nd one in 23 days...could also be that daylight savings has ended (sob sob) and even though i love autumn, it signals the onset of winter and just makes me feel a bit like hibernating...

and it could be that i realised this morning on my walk that when in Brisbane or Melbourne (destinations of the last 2 weekends) i just don't spend any time thinking about Chris but when here, he seems more present to me...sure there's lots of reasons for that, not the least of which is he lives here...but it just kinda hit me this morning as i walked past a building who's name reminds me of him...and that saddens me! i don't want my home, the city where i love, and the city i love to be a reminder of him...

and then of course, i sent him a text message...

just like that...

but instead of getting mad at myself i'm just going to observe myself (sounds kinda weird doesn't it?)...

sigh...