hmmm today has been really difficult
not generally, but specifically...in regards to a certain situation
seems the resolve of the last few days/posts deserted me overnight...had a good nights sleep too? surely it can't be better to sleep less when making such decisions??
sooo I have just felt compelled to have contact with him today even though the contact has been uneventful....
in fact, other than the 'rush' when I see his name and the drama/fantasy I allow myself to create around him....the whole thing is uneventful
and yet, I can't seem to walk away
aarrgghh
it's frustrating beyond words and the logical smart part of me is annoyed at the other part...more than that
soooo why? why is it so bloody hard...I really need to try and work out what it is I am giving up in giving him up....
sigh
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