as i near the place where we spend most of our time, i see him, already there...he looks at me, then looks away, and i think i see him smile...we are 12, maybe 13...it doesn't matter i guess, but we are kids...
he's my best friend...has been since we were 9, and even though that is only 3, or maybe 4 years, i can't really remember a time when he wasn't in my life...i don't remember how, or exactly when, we became friends...he'll know! he seems to have a much better memory of our past...maybe i'll ask him?
he has his marbles out already, which disappoints me coz i want to play jacks today...i have my little jacks bag in my hand and as i walk i swing it around in the air with my right hand...see i'm better at jacks...he's never beaten me at jacks, but marbles seems like a game which is more about luck than skill...and whilst we haven't kept score, i'm sure he has beaten me more times than i've beaten him...although that might be because i can't bring myself to throw them as hard as he does, especially the blues ones (my favourites) and they often don't make the distance...
our greetings are typical of kids our age...no kissing, no touching, we probably don't even say hi or hello...he just looks at me, i look back and he nods his head towards the marbles he has already set up...i hold up my jacks bag and look at him...
'fine, jacks it is' he says, gathering his marbles into a pile and as he does, gives me the look...the one he gives me when he doesn't get his way...he raises his eyebrows trying to show me that he's mad, but he's not one for getting mad...in fact, i don't think i've ever known him to be angry, or at least not at me...he just raises his eyebrows, rolls his eyes and smiles, a look of resignation crossing his young face...
'i'm gonna beat you one day you know?' he says
i smile, in my head i'm thinking how funny that sounds...even though i have tiny little girl hands and he has big hands, he can't seem to stop the jacks from falling off his hand one by one...and each time they tumble, i try hard not to laugh...
it's like a routine...he throws them up, initially catches them all, then they start to fall because they haven't landed softly enough on his hand...he's a boy, guess that means he's not used to being gentle! and jacks is definitely a game where softly does it...
'you go first' i say to him, thinking that in doing so i am giving him some advantage...i prefer to go first as i feel less pressure...
he takes the bag from me, slowly extracts the jacks and puts them in a pile in front of him, and then, as he always does, bounces the ball before he starts...i'm not sure if he thinks that this 'test bounce' is going to help him beat me...who knows! maybe it's his way of trying to work out how hard he needs to bounce it so that he has enough time to get all the jacks onto the top of his hand before it hits the ground...
he's obviously a bit distracted today, coz he's onto his 3rd test bounce...
'c'mon' i say 'what are you doing?'...i am getting impatient now...he does it again and looks steadfastly at me as he does, knowing it will annoy me...
finally, he picks up the jacks and has his go...ha! only 3 stay on his hand...
i go through my own routine, taking all of the jacks into my right hand and moving them around until they 'feel right'! it isn't until i've done this that i contemplate throwing up the ball and having my go...
he's looking at me funny...i don't ask him if something is up...
the jacks feel good in my hand, i throw the ball up in the air and 9 of the jacks land on my hand...just as i'm about to look at him with my 'i beat you' look...i feel his hand on mine...
it lingers there, and he looks really nervous...
'what?' i say to him, realising that my hand feels warm where his hand is
'nothing' he spits back at me as he moves his hand away and takes the jacks from me
his next go is even worse than the first one...this time only 1 jack stays on his hand...he shrugs his shoulders and looks at me
'can we play marbles now?'
'please?'
i pick up the jacks and the ball and put them in the little bag, pulling the draw string so tight making sure that none of my beloved jacks can escape, i put it down next to me and he gives me my marbles which he'd previously put in a separate pile next to his own...
as he hands them to me, our hands touch again...
'i love you' he says...i almost don't hear him
'what?' i say, not sure i've heard him correctly
he is blushing slightly now and his voice quivers 'i love you'...
i don't know what to say, so i just smile, but inside i feel warm and happy and think to myself 'that's good, coz i love you too, always have'...
he slowly pulls his hand away and as he does, one of my marbles falls between our hands and splits in two on the ground between us
he looks at me, i look at the marble, he picks up the two pieces, two halves of one of my favourite blue marbles, and looks at me
'i'll get you another one'
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