bored...

yep, i am terminally bored :-(


i spoke to a good friend this morning, the same friend from an earlier post (see 'lost' on 28 february...i'm still working out how to link previous posts - i'm sure there is a way!) and she has reached the same place i'm at - actually her expression (which makes me laugh) is 'i'm just so over myself'...

and i don't laugh at her, as her predicament isn't funny, i just love the way she expresses herself :-)

it's funny coz both of us are strong introverts on the MBTI scale and as such, are a bit surprised by how disconnected, lonely and isolated we feel in running our own businesses...you'd think that with our 'i' bent we would just love the time away from people! but no...turns out that we both are not enjoying it at all...

i am in a slightly more advanced stage of the realisation than this friend - possibly because i have been doing 'my own business' thing for a wee bit longer and have had a lot more time to contemplate how it's all working for me...added to which i am single and for most of the time i have run my biz, have been, so haven't had the distraction of a husband or a young child to take my mind off the situation...

that said, when she said this morning that she doesn't want to do it anymore, i totally totally understood that...neither do i :-(

and i'm not talking about the work with clients or the amazing coaching i do...nope, that bit i love and i hope that one day, if it feels right to do so, and i return to doing my own biz, that i will love it then too...and possibly moreso...

so, what i don't like is the isolation, the loneliness, the lack of a busy week, the number of things that i have to do to make sure the week is busy and the money comes in, the constant need to drum up business and be out there networking and selling, the constant reviewing the spreadsheet to see what the financial situation is...who am i kidding? it's not as if i actually need to review the spreadsheet!! one good thing about having a finance background is that, pretty much, at any given time i'm pretty clear on where things are at, and where they are at right now is not dire, but fast heading in that direction...:-(
so if i hadn't been offered a fabulous opportunity i may be having an entirely different sort of crisis...one where i felt i had to sell myself to get a job...as it turns out the opportunity in front of me is pretty much (at least right now) a perfect match to what i want to be doing if i have to work for someone else - admittedly, the real 'what i want to be when i grow up' is a coach...and that hasn't changed for some time, and probably won't (even though i am absolutely not writing off the possibility that if this job eventuates i may very well thoroughly enjoy it)...

see i am clear that taking this job is right for me...now

i'm clear that i want to be a coach but right now the business of being a coach is not panning out as i had hoped...and not through lack of trying...

only a few weeks ago i felt as though taking a job was tantamount to be admitting to being a failure or having a business that hadn't been successful! i no longer see it like that, and in fact have managed (very well indeed) to flip it around into nothing short of a huge professional compliment (which is what it is to do such good work for a client in such a way that they want to employ you in a full time senior role...)...

sooo now all that's left to work out are the fine details...you know, the remuneration, the timing etc etc...i am pretty sure that if i want this job then it will be mine, and i do want it...the only downside as far as i can tell, other than feeling like i will no longer be my own boss, is the having to extract myself from certain commitments....

no doubt that will evoke mixed feelings...but doesn't everything we do?

soo i'm bored, i'm sure it will pass, but right now, i'm bored...