it would seem after more than 3 years of blogging and countless writing classes, i am finally inspired to really write those novels...and so a number of vignettes are going to start appearing here - coupla reasons for that: firstly, i can get some feedback from the very few (and shall i say, select) readers and secondly, rather than me writing sometimes self indulgent reflective navel gazing crap, it will serve me better to actually get into the habit of fiction writing...so go easy on me if you are going to provide feedback, and bear in mind i won't be providing context, so things may appear disjointed at times! (of course, there is a chance too that the writing could occasionally be utter rubbish...)
i wake up and don't recognise the room i'm in...my head hurts a little bit, i shiver when i realise the blankets have gathered in a pile on the floor and as i turn over to reach out for him, i realise he's not there....he's often not there when i wake up...he's a morning person, i am decidedly not! the bed is still warm where he has been and in his place is a handwritten note
'Happy Anniversary Charlie...gone for a run...back soon, i'll get pain au chocolat for you...L x'
i pick up the note and move into the warm space in the bed where he was...and i can't help but smile
i read the note again and i think i should pinch myself...I've known Luca since we were 9 years old, and today is our 3 year anniversary and despite my sore head and how cold i feel, i can't suppress the smile pulling at the corners of my mouth as i pull the blankets back up onto the bed and over my head
i think about how long i waited for him, how much time i spent willing him to find his way back to me, telling my girlfriends that setting me up on blind dates with their husband's friends was futile...no, i was sure that he was the one i was going to be with...imagine their surprise when he actually did come back! sometimes you just know, right?
so this morning we are in Paris (my favourite city), in a hotel near the Opera, the same hotel where he proposed to me 31 years after we first met...when we were 40...actually we were in Paris to celebrate my 40th birthday
yep, this man i am talking about is my childhood sweetheart! the one i could never get out of my head, nor my heart, the one i knew would come back... the one i tried hard to forget especially when things seemed hopeless, but he wouldn't leave...even when somebody else temporarily took up a place in my heart, a small part of me just wouldn't submit...
i'm smiling and considering getting up when i hear the door close
'hi babe' Luca says to me holding up a brown bag from the local boulangerie as he walks over
'tea?' he asks, he is strictly a coffee drinker
'i'll make it handsome' i say to him, throwing on his shirt before i stand up and hug him
'don't be mad babe, but i got you something' he says knowing that i'll be a little bit mad at him
'really? i thought we said no gifts'...of course i had something for him too
he handed me a red velvet box, no wrapping, no card, just the box...
i took it from him, kissed him and then sat down...over the years we had developed a habit of always sitting down to open gifts...
'but wait' i said, getting up and running towards the suitcase (still locked and on the stand in the bedroom) to retrieve my gift for him
i come back holding a small package wrapped in brown paper and tied with blue straw...
'i thought we weren't doing gifts' he says, smiling as he pulls me onto the sofa with him
he hands me the red box again and nods in it's direction
'open it babe' he says 'go on'
i take my left hand and open the lid and starting back at me is the most beautiful ring i have ever seen, a cushion cut iolite set in a white gold band, diamonds scattered randomly in the band
'you shouldn't have' i say to him, thrilled
'how? where did the stone come from?' i say to him, surprised to see what looks like the perfect stone
'remember that guy we met at that gem fair last year? you know, the old guy who couldn't stop talking about his wife? well he called me a month ago and told me he had a contact in Sri Lanka who might be able to get a stone for us'
it was beautiful, the perfect shade of violet and beautifully cut. it was so beautiful i almost didn't want to touch it. Luca took the box from me, gently took the ring out of it's little box and slid it onto the finger where my wedding band had once been...
he does this gently, my knuckle still swollen and not yet fully healed from the accident
'Luca, darling it's beautiful, thank you' i say, tears start to fall down my face
'don't cry babe, i wanted you to have something as beautiful as you, and something that reminds you of how much i love you when i can't be there to tell you'
'i have something for you too darling' i say, handing him the rectangular package and hoping that he likes the gift i have chosen for him
he carefully unties the straw, and then removes the paper to reveal a first edition of Sartre's 1945 L'age de raison
'Charlie, where on earth did you find this?' he says smiling, reaching over to embrace me
'why oh why did i wait so long to come and find you?' he says, holding me so tight i struggle to catch my breath
we are quiet for a few minutes, then he releases me and gets up to make tea for me and coffee for him
'pain au chocolat babe?' he says handing me the brown paper bag
'i thought we'd go to Montparnasse this morning Charlie?'
'ok darling' i respond, glancing down at my ring and wondering when my knuckle will return to it's normal size
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