thank you carrie bradshaw...

and i'm certain that everyone (well, pretty much everyone) knows who she is, but i think i have her to thank - i love her 'voice' and i'm not talking about her actual voice, but more the way she writes and expresses her thoughts...some days i wish i had retrained as a writer and not a therapist, but i guess i'm only 42, so if i REALLY want to write professionally, i could retrain again! is there a limit on the number of career changes you can have in your life?

so today feels like a bit of a weekend rewind (to borrow the expression of another friend who blogs...this one i actually know, and she is a real person, not a character!!!)...i had an appointment this afternoon that got cancelled so after a morning where it felt like everything was going to go pearshaped (my package shipping company in the US charged me way more than i thought possible for a shipment, my mouse died...it's ok now, my sync on my ipod nano didn't work so on my walk there was no Linkin Park.....and then my appointment got cancelled) i took a long walk, even threw in something of a run (very short, not sure my knee will thank me tomorrow) and then came home and basically watched a whole stack of shows i love...

seinfeld (the contest was on - hilarious even years on), blue murder (although i didn't re-watch episodes i'd seen, where would be the suspense in that) and of course a staple, SATC...

i realise that it has been nearly 2 weeks since i had any contact with Chris and you know what? i am completely ok with that...sure, occasionally the 13 year old girl who always thought we'd be together, approaches home wondering if he'll be there waiting for me on bended knee ("as if" my sensible 42 year old is saying with a roll of the eyes)...but hey, just because in reality i'm ok with things, doesn't mean the fantasy has completely died...quietened yes, lost it's grip on me yes, disappeared altogether....not quite!

but i did something today that i've been considering for AGES - well by ages i mean, a few months...seems like much longer but i think when we find ourselves in a place in our lives where we aren't that happy, the time can seem to drag on...and speaking of time (seems to be a theme of late), it's not yet 3 months since Chris re-appeared in my life...

the good thing is that when he did and all those emotions, both old and new, were evoked afresh, i wondered if i would ever be able to move on....and yet, here i am! i am honestly feeling happy, content with my lot in life, starting to 'do' more than 'think' less (not that i am against thinking, on the contrary)...but i am finding that by throwing myself into my life rather than trying to live it all in my head first, i am actually having fun!

and something else i did this week is decide to get my eyes lasered - it's gonna take a coupla months to go thru the rigmarole, but i'm doing it! i'm sick of wearing glasses - over having to take prescription sunnies, swapping over from one pair to the next, wearing glasses when i am trying to look glam, or even just when i'm trying to be that girl next door (read, with a ponytail and somehow i just think the glasses ruin the simplicity of the ponytail)....

i seem to have reclaimed a whole lot of the things i want to do for myself and you know what? it feels good! it feels as though i have found a bit of myself again, some of the old and some new too...i went out with a mate lastnight (a good mate, who i adore) and when i went to the bar, i found myself uncharacteristically talking to the guy next to me - admittedly he was quite cute and had an amazing tattoo...long story, you know i LOVE the tattoo? you do right?

and then of course as i am feeling more upbeat about life etc, imagine my surprise when i basically get 7 work leads in the space of just 2 days! yep, one of them could be an ongoing and quite amazing piece of work, but given the history with the guy who called i am just not going to get my hopes up! he's quite into the hype etc, so i'm just gonna do my best to show appropriate interest but without assuming it's a done deal! (good luck with that self...)...and 6 potential coaching clients - absolutely wrapt, seriously, couldn't ask for a better end to an already great week :-)

sadly tonight i am battling a headache, actually quite a bad one and i haven't had a bad one like this in ages....so i'm going to take Tully and head to bed (Tully being my latest read!) and hope that i wake up headache free tomorrow...

so thank you universe and thank you carrie bradshaw xx