my year in review...

wow, this time last year i had just finished my berry pavlova and was starting to wonder if i would ever have the courage to get myself out of the relationship with ben....it's amazing that an entire year, 365 days have passed, so let me try and summarise my year that was...

january: turned 41, uneventful day and frankly the saddest birthday i ever hope to have to have...this day was truly the start of the end with ben...the rest of the month went by in a blur until i finally gave up on Australia Day and we broke up...he left, i cried and so began the job of putting my life and my little self back together again...the only positive being that only 2 days after this i managed to deliver a fantastic workshop to a new client!

february: was even more of a blur than january, a month marred by sadness and grief and honestly, i have NO idea how i got through it...good friends, great support from mum and dad, and some shopping...yep, february saw the purchase of my chandelier! probably the most notable thing to occur this month was my monday night meditation (still going strong!)

march: the absolute highlight of march was carlton beating richmond by 56 points, sure, not the 83 points of last year's season opener, but still a good result! i had my windows cleaned (inside and out, by a professional) and it felt like a metaphor of my life post my breakup with ben...

april: ah yes april...well i had 2 forays into 'dating' and honestly, they were both just awful...one of the men i met was actually a nice guy, but not for me, the other evening was nothing short of a disaster and i couldn't wait to get out of there...cried all the way home and then some! finished one Cert IV, one more to go...it was a busy month! heard the 'our song' for the first time since the breakup - realised that even though i thought i wouldn't be able to listen to it, i found myself turning it up when i heard it on the radio...

may:  finished my other Cert IV and as the month wore on was madly getting ready for my trip! yep, in february i decided to go on a trip (chicago, ithaca, new york, paris and then northallerton)...something to look forward to i told myself...may marked my 400th post! wow...and when i started i wasn't sure whether it would be something i keep up...guess it is! i am now at nearly 600 and it will be 3 years in january...

june: ah, holidays! who doesn't love 'em? well i had a ball...chicago first and some family time, followed by ithaca with my lovely friends P.A. and Elliot, then NYC, my first ever baseball game (go Yankees), Paris (conference, met a nice bloke who turned out to be not so nice but had fun anyway), then Northallerton for some more family time...was a great trip, had a lovely time, spent far too much money, enjoyed my business class air travel and came home with lots of goodies and wonderful memories...

july: tried to settle back into work...enjoyed the winter walks in the sun, started to feel happy with my lot in life, met Bec (my crystal healer...)...dan broke his leg skiing...i got my iphone! and spent the majority of the month working out which apps to install! finally transferred all my music from my mp3 player to the iphone and i don't know why i didn't get an ipod sooner! and i discovered eli stone...i love eli stone...and i scored a gig with a consulting company

august:  ah the month from hell...my health had been bad since arriving back from my trip and a trip to a new naturopath and some blood reader, told me that my liver wasn't working properly and it was probably due to the reflux meds...so in an effort to reduce them, i had to cut out caffeine (aarrgghh) and meat (coz my body couldn't digest it properly) and so began my month of hell...got thru it and am still (largely) caffeine free today...

september: well Blues made it to the first week of the finals, only to be beaten by those Swans (grr)...Dan turned 9...I did my first team building session (which went very well) and the Dragons finally performed like a team destined to win the flag...a so called friend showed her true colours and stopped talking to me and of course in typical Sarah fashion i beat myself up - i look back now and wonder why on earth i got so upset! and i beat KPMG to the pip with a great gig and new client!

october: St George finally get over the line in a GF and i watched on with mixed emotion as Ben's beloved Dragons won...I was going for them too (of course, they were playing the chooks!)...sadly i seemed to spend most of the month in a blur or should i say depression, which is what it felt like...i went to cairns for something of a retreat, but it wasn't much of a retreat at all!

november: was just starting to feel good, physically and emotionally, and then the bombshell...that person from my past turns up and all of a sudden my little world is thrown upside down...i start questioning the universe about how much more i can take and what else is coming my way...i did 2 fabulous writing courses (one more fabulous than the other) and dusted off that novel that's been sitting around for years...of course, it's back to sitting around but i have a whole lot more clarity on plot and momentum etc...so when i get some momentum up, it could actually turn into something! a migraine (my 2nd ever) in early november heralded some interesting visions (shooting stars and jackhammers)....and the return of an old good friend (or two) was a welcome diversion from other events...

december: the fallout of the 'bomb' seems to continue well into december and i spent a lot of time with my therapist during the month...my anger was like a stormy sea and it felt at times like i wouldn't be able to control it...but as with all things, time is the great healer and my xmas break with my family in canberra proved a fantastic circuit breaker for some of the 'voices' in my head...so as i drove to one of my oldest friends for a quiet new years eve with her and her family, i felt happy...not deliriously happy, not the sort of happy that will come from having someone to share NYE's with, but happy...and i had a lovely night...

so as i look back over 2010 i can honestly say that it was my most difficult year - so many challenges fell in my path, and in typical fashion i found it impossible to turn my back on them...a year when good friends helped me get through....seems that in 2009 i found my voice, but 2010 has been a year when it was important for that voice to be heard....

so it's now 2011 and i am hopeful that it will be a happier year for me...i'm hopeful that some of the demons of my past will now rest, where my voice will continue to grow and be heard, and where i will learn to trust, not just myself, but others....

happy new year :-)