cathartic?

so that's the question i am asking myself tonight...since my session on the weekend i have been pondering about what to do (if anything) regarding 'him'...i feel as though i need to explain to him what impact his actions have had on me but since he never gets in touch when he says he will, since the 'catch up' we are supposed to be having is unlikely (in my opinion) to ever happen, i feel as though i need another option...and right now (although i'm on the fence) it seems like writing him an email may well suffice...

of course i had (some time ago) considered (when he asked) giving him the blog details, but i subsequently decided against that believing that at some point, i would start to censor my posts if i knew he was reading....

sooo i'm a bit undecided about whether writing him an email (of course i could write in and NOT send it - that still may be cathartic) will help me at all, and that is really the only thing on my mind...

sure i could say some things, but will it change anything? reality is probably not, but i feel (from a place deep inside of me) that i need to try and make him understand what he has done...

on the other hand, is this just some part of the 'fantasy' i have playing in my head (on occasion, not very often, but still, it's there...sigh) where he turns into a decent human being?

and honestly, i don't know the answer...so even if he does divulge said email address, i may never use it...but right now (tonight) it seems important to have asked...

time will tell i guess!