toe rag and dick wad...

you gotta love friends...really! so today was supposed to be the big day - lunch with you know who, so we could talk about what happened all those years ago...but of course he cancelled (i was fully expecting this and in fact it's kinda good as it has given me a much needed afternoon at home and some time to just potter)...

but a good friend of mine texted this morning to ask me if today was the 'big lunch' with the toe rag and when i told her that he had cancelled she replied with 'what a complete and utter dick wad'...

you gotta love friends, they are ALWAYS on your side and that's absolutely where you want them to be...

so instead of having my stuffed zucchini flowers, humpty doo baramundi and either apple & rhubarb crumble or some chocolate thing, i had rice cakes with homous and spinach followed by a small piece of last night's leftover blueberry pavlova...still a nice lunch, but not quite the same...

so he sends me a longish message explaining (and the compassionate side of me does think sure you're busy, it's xmas, your folks are here, you have kids etc etc) and asking if would do january....i didn't respond and hours later (yes, you got it right, another late night text) another text saying simple 'so?'....

really, has he not cottoned onto the fact that i am not in favour of his drunk texts? just because he is up and drinking at 12.20am (or later) why must he send me messages at that time??? i have made it clear that it's not really ok and yet still they come....

so i finally respond this morning with a short and probably not so sweet "inevitable and yet still disappointing"....

what else is one to say? really? couple of scenarios are playing out in my head - mainly the 'just get out of my life' continues to make an appearance in the list, the 'don't bother making contact with me until you actually have time to do this and properly' is another, and yet when it comes down to it, i say nothing and realise that asking him to leave my life now, when i haven't had the chance to say some stuff, is maybe not really what i want....why i feel the need to do this is anybody's guess...really!

soooo i'm back to the couch with my tea and NCIS, walk/run sometime this afternoon and then later, dinner with one of my best friends....

still, i think she's right this girlfriend and if he's not a toe rag (especially love that one) or a dick wad (don't really like that one), then i don't know what else to call him really, coz his behaviour is not exactly that of someone who genuinely cares and wants to hear my side of it all....