seems to be a great way to kick some habits...and i'm not gonna go into too much detail here but suffice it to say for a coupla months my therapist and i have been talking about this habit of mine to 'move away from myself' and 'towards others'.....sure it sounds cryptic and it's gonna stay that way, but this post is really more for me (most of them are, but i realise that on occasion i have an audience) and so when i look back i can remember what was going on...
sooo it seems the break away from sydney has been a great 'circuit breaker' (at least for now) in the 'communications' (if you could call them that) with him...and of course based on previous posts i can't actually name him but you know who i'm talking about....and if you don't, i do!
so i haven't heard from him since last tuesday, i've taken his number out of my phone again and honestly since last week when i went to canberra for xmas, i have had NO inclination to get in touch with him...and i don't know whether that will change as i settle back into life here at home, or as January (the time he suggested we reconvene after cancelling on me for the 3rd time) approaches....
but you know what? despite at times feeling very lonely at xmas (and this has NOTHING to do with him) i enjoyed being away, i enjoyed a change of scenery, i enjoyed our xmas day festivities and hanging out with my family, seeing friends i haven't seen for years and generally just 'getting away'...
i drove back to sydney (devastated to hear the wickets fall and with each falling wicket the hopes of Australia having even a fighting chance at making this series competitive) today and felt much better than i did last week...
sometimes distance (and time) really do provide a different perspective, so let's just hope i can hang onto that...
question is this: if (and when) he makes contact in January to organise the 're-convening' i wonder if it will still be important to me to catch up...or will i find myself moving 'away from him' rather than 'towards him'?? guess only time will tell!
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