yep, that's what the homework was for my writing course last weekend - ten minutes a day to write - anything as long as i write...well i think with the events of this week i can safely say that i have written for at least 10 minutes each day...
sooo i wrote a post on facebook some time ago about forgiveness...and i couldn't understand why this person wouldn't forgive me for the silliest little mistake - admittedly it hurt her in some way, but in the scheme of things, it meant nothing...
but of course, invariably things have a way of coming back to bite you in the arse sometimes, and in this case, i'm the one being stung!
so this week, well you know kinda what's happened this week if you've been reading, someone from my past has popped up and is seeking forgiveness...
and of course i can easily say the words 'i forgive you' but for me that doesn't really leave me feeling any better - it doesn't make me understand what happened in any greater detail and even though i know we were 13 (i.e. kids), there is a part of me that is struggling with being confronted with it all again...
don't get me wrong, not like i haven't thought about it often enough - not like it hasn't left a huge blemish on my otherwise innocent being...and it impacts me in so many ways (i couldn't articulate this to him when he asked the other day but i now have a very long and articulate list in my head)....
and there is now, upon further pondering (fuck WHEN IS IT GOING TO STOP?) yet another thought running through my head....why is he here? man, the universe better have something extra special in store for me coz i am struggling right now to work out why he would let him be here....sure, he wants to say sorry - but that makes him feel better - what about me?
soooo i'm going to bed now and hoping that perhaps some of these questions will answer themselves soon....
nite x
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