kinda weird

watching a GF for a team your ex supported, and you kinda like, without them...guess this is just one of the many first's that come after a relationship breakdown...and i was doing so well following my heart acunpuncture on friday (not needles in the heart, but needles to help my heart)...

was talking to someone today about 'getting over people' we've been with and honestly i don't reckon you ever do - sure it becomes less painful to think about it, but there were some complicating factors (and i won't say unique, coz i'm sure there were others with some of the stuff we shared)....and it's probably all my own stuff and fearss...but there are times when i find it hard to believe that we are no longer together...as if in some way i'm gonna wake up from a dream soon and everything will be ok...and of course, in time, it will be, and sometimes, it is already, and not that i am hanging on for the year mark, but it does seem as though the big things that happen for the first time post, seem to be a reminder of what no longer is...

sooo i guess as i said to this person i don't think we do ever get over the people we have loved, we simply work out how to integrate what they meant to us and the fact that they are no longer in our lives into who we are now...

still, it's not only kinda weird, but also kinda sad :-(

man am i looking fwd to acunpuncture again this week coz whatever he did certainly helped....sooo to bed for me on this cold, wet and windy night...alone again...and maybe i need to be alone for a while coz even though when i am feeling good i know that i would make a wonderful partner to someone, right now i really don't feel as though that would be the case...

nite xx