i think i really am broken...i actually told my acupuncturist today how bad i was feeling - not physically, but emotionally, and he was great - decided to do a different sort of acunpuncture today to try and mend my broken spirit...
and honestly, i am starting to be a little bit concerned - it's been a long long time since i have had a period of sadness/depression as i am going through right now - just don't seem to be able to shake it :-( acupuncturist thinks it's no surprise given what's going on in my body and in fact when i had the blood tests done back in August and first saw the naturopath, both of them said that with the issues i was having (liver etc) it wouldn't be surprising if i was experiencing some depression...but i was feeling ok then, only now am i feeling like crap...
got me a little bit stumped actually but when i consider my health and everything else that's gone on in my life both in the last year and recently (read posts re consulting stress, friends who aren't really friends etc etc), then no wonder i don't feel so hot!
my bounce has gone - the bubbly positive me is finding it hard to not only muster up my usual levels of energy, but even to crawl out of bed in the mornings...and it's doing nothing for my sense of self, which i can honestly say has taken a beating of late...
the me of a month or so ago was optimistic about the future and felt certain that life was going to turn out just the way i wanted it to, and now, i'm not so sure...i find myself feeling negative about myself, worrying (not a lot but it's starting to creep in) about the long term future of my business, and wondering if I am EVER going to meet my mr right...
see what's also become apparent is that the feelings of failure i pushed aside when ben and i broke up have re-surfaced, and seemingly with a vengeance...
sooo the big question really is: why do i feel like being single means failure?? i wonder how much therapy i need to do to really shake this belief, which is so clearly NOT working for me!
ok, well to bed, and methinks tomorrow i might start trying to incorporate exercise - it's a sure fire way to help beat those blues!
nite xx
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