wow, this is my 500th post! little did i know when i started the blog in january 2008 it would still be going strong nearly 3 years on! sooo it's a wee bit unfortunate that this particular post is not going to be a positive one but it certainly will be a celebration (maybe not today, but in time, of a new aspect of myself)....
so you will have seen some of my recent posts about friendship, forgiveness etc and i have done an inordinate amount of thinking about this situation and what i could have done differently, and in fact, whether or not this person really is a friend, and someone i want to keep in my life...
if it weren't complicated by the fact that we are working on a consulting engagement together i would probably just be very open (mental note to self: why wouldn't you be anyway!) and tell her that her behaviour towards me is not in line with the way i treat my friends and consequently i'm not sure i want her as a friend...
but is that childish?
so the upshot is this! we met in early feb, we spent a lot of time between then and end of may strategising ideas together for our various businesses, i stepped in to deliver a massive proposal for her when she was away, and also stepped in to provide this consulting company she introduced me to with a change resource whilst she was away...since she got back we spent a bit of time together but due to us both being busy we never did have our next strategy catch up...she has subsequently picked up a potentially huge piece of work and got so busy that she never calls, doesn't respond to my emails (especially those where i am asking how she is going and more personal stuff) and then i gave some feedback to the consulting company (that i'd previously given to her) and she didn't like it and said it put her in a difficult situation (i get that, acknowledged that and apologised both on the phone and in an email as we haven't had a chance to get together), that was on the 20th september and not a SINGLE personal email or acknowledgement of my emails since....she had previously asked me to do some work for her and then told me in an email she could no longer afford it (that might be a genuine reason), and now is only emailing with respect to the consulting client...so last week i openly ask her if this 'formal way of things' is how she wants our relationship to be and she hasn't even responded - it's been a week! i don't care how busy you are, for someone who's been a good friend and support and done a lot for you, i find it impossible to believe that in an entire week you can't find 5 fucking minutes to be open about what's going on for you....
soooo whilst i may be able to forgive myself and i may have (up until now) forgiven her, i am now DONE!
universe, sort this out please because the sort of people i want in my life are considerate, open, honest with how they feel, confront situations and are decent enough to find 5 minutes in their so called busy life for a friend!
d...o...n...e xx
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