mostly good...

but had a conversation today that i wasn't looking forward to - it actually went well - i confronted the issue head on knowing that this person (a friend and colleague) would be pissed off, or at least a little bit disappointed, and of course i apologised...long story, not gonna go into it here, and the people pleasing side of me wonders if it will jeopardise any future work with this company - and you know what - part of me doesn't give a toss as they, the company, are a fucking nightmare to deal with - what i do love is the end client and of course, i wouldn't get to work with the end client unless the company was in between....sooo now i have to decide about whether i will suck it up until july 2011 when this particular client engagement ends and then tell them to take a running jump, or would that be a bad business decision....

and herein lies one of the problems of running your own business! once you have the autonomy and make all the decisions, there are still some decisions which you have to make - actually i think that pretty much only applies to one thing and that is financial security...

soooo i'm glad the friend and i had the conversation, even though i wasn't looking forward to it but there is a nagging doubt about what it might mean...guess only time will tell...

and then there's the person from my past who has kind of re-appeared, but of course now he lives in Melbourne, but he's re-appeared and for the life of me i can't work out why....and he lives in Melbourne - i mentioned that right!!!

very very frustrating - hoping meditation will help clear my head...sooo all in all a slightly better day but the end of the day loneliness and sense of having nothing to look forward to is starting to inevitably set in! must do something about that!

nite
xx