hopeless...

is a bit like how i feel right now...and not in a general way but very specifically about my health...see it seems that traditional (shall we say western) medicine has got my body into the state it's in now (that and apparently a seeming inability to deal with stress very well) and i'm starting to wonder if i am EVER going to feel better - and honestly, i have forgotten what it must be like to feel well as it has been so long since i felt well, that i just don't know what it would be like and there is a small part of me that wonders if it's possible...

and i don't like to be negative or doubting, coz i'm a pretty positive person actually, but i have my moments - guess that just makes me human...

also i had a crystal healing session today and she (Bec) did some huge work on moving energy and in particular repressed anger from my earlier years, and that might be contributing to my malaise this evening...

soooo i think i'm going to crawl into bed and try not to think about the proposal i am half way through (good job i said i would get it to her by end of monday - at least gives me tomorrow) or the keyword searches i should be doing with a view to re-writing my website...and just try and relax...

perhaps i'll do a meditation...

sadly, what i really feel like is a cup of tea...and some company...:-( neither of which are on the cards right now...

sooo from me, it's good night...xxx