for the first time in ages i feel really really low...

and not because of my love life, but because of my health - so you will know if you've been reading that i haven't been that well and i have done my level best to cut out wheat/gluten (actually i've pretty much achieved that) in the last 10 days thinking it was a contributor - turns out it maybe, but mainly what's going on is that my liver and gall bladder aren't working, i'm not able to absorb any nutrients from food, protein is unable to be absorbed, i'm anaemic and my digestive system is basically not working anymore....:-(

turns out the scariest part of it all is that for the most part, it's due to the medication i've been taking for over 15 years which was prescribed for reflux...

soooo now i face the long battle of eliminating loads of stuff (and really other than my tea with milk and sugar, i couldn't care less) that cause reflux, so that i can eventually get off the medication, then at the same time work on doing a liver cleanse and putting stuff into my body that helps, rather than hinders it...

soooo i'm sad and feeling a bit frustrated and pissed off - not like i've ever eaten a bad diet - i try and do exercise, although given the fact that my body is absorbing no energy or reserves, no wonder i need to drag myself out of bed every single day...

what i can look forward to is i guess healthy digestive function - this is something i don't think my body has known for years, a return to normal energy levels, possibly weight loss, definitely more energy, less hormonal issues and a myriad other things which when i write them down, just makes me wonder how the hell i have lived with this crap for so long...

guess we really do get used to stuff and right now, i am no longer wanting to be used to any of the stuff i am currently experiencing...

sooooo come monday i am off all animal meats (this is not too hard, they make me feel so sick right now i actually couldn't care less), trying to reduce tea (this is the killer), no more chocolate (that'll be hard, but i reckon i can deal with that), no alcohol (what a joke - as if i need to give up something i don't even do) and nothing fatty or fried (again not a big issue)...sugar has to go....

soooo let's hope that it all starts to work coz seriously i don't want to spend another 40 odd years feeling like this - my life is simply not fun...

interestingly enough i don't have to give up dairy, which i thought for sure would be on the list....

sooo wish me luck!