so if you've been reading the blog you will know that i met a german in paris, he was lovely (but married, with kids and living in germany...), we've been emailing, moved to live chat on skype and then i stupidly (yep stupidly and in a moment of weakness and feeling very connected to him...) gave him my blog link - so he tells me he was reading it numerous times a day, and then over the weekend in a long 'chat' where he tells me he likes me a lot, he then says having the blog is maybe not such a good idea as of course he gets to know more about me than i do about him, added to which i have previously mentioned that he seems to be quite happy to ask questions but then not answer them (i don't like this)...so he says he's not going to look at it anymore and i can trust him which of course made my best friend/sister in perth laugh her arse off - how can you trust a married man she says??? what are his intentions towards you she asks? doesn't sound like he wants to be just friends and you know what, she is RIGHT - i absolutely hadn't thought of that...
of course i had, but it didn't worry me, but you know what? the more i think about it, the more it does worry me...and i am certain that some people do meet their soul mates when the other person it still married, but that is not really how i see my 'great love' panning out...
nope! i want it to be innocent and i want him to be available, both physically, legally and universe willing, emotionally...i don't want to have to pretend that a huge part of his life doesn't exist and i do not want to come behind a family....
soooo i think that the best thing to do, for me, is to walk away from this - sure it was nice to meet someone i found attractive (mission accomplished universe, thank you :-), it was nice to feel attractive (i felt very very attractive and on many levels whilst in his company), and it was nice to know that someone else was attracted to me - of course i knew all of this in my head, but after a big breakup one needs a sign, a real live sign....and methinks that the german was that....a sign!
and as with most signs, they come with fine print, and in this particular case the fine print was not anything like 'warning axe murderer' but 'warning married to someone else, and maybe unhappily, but technically not available'....
soooo methinks the only way to do this is to say goodbye because there is no way this can end happily....
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