would be easy...but no, actually i find it pretty hard - guess it's a function of having had someone around for nearly 2 years who i put first - and not that i necessarily think that was a good thing - in fact i don't, but now that it's just me, it's hard sometimes...
but i had a bit of a realisation today, whilst talking to a friend: i think that the reason i have kept so busy and up until last week, made some feeble attempts at 'getting out there' again, were simply to avoid focussing on me and what i am experiencing...
mmm sound interesting? well yes but i think there is something in that...namely that the reason for going looking for a distraction (of sorts) was simply to avoid spending time focussing on myself and seriously, for me to be in this situation, the universe must have a lesson in store for me! sooooo i think i've learned a stack about myself already, but perhaps if i simply focus on me, the things i love, hanging out with my friends and family, the business etc, maybe just maybe i will re-discover what it is to be truly happy and then, maybe just maybe, what i'm looking for will arrive??
sounds kinda simple and perhaps cliched and maybe even a bit far fetched, but maybe the lesson was simply to allow myself to actually put myself first and to be clear (crystal) on what it is that i really want...
so maybe it would be a good time to make that list!
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