a mixed bag...

that's what today has been! a mixed bag...so i haven't been sleeping well this week, not really sure what's going on...

my reading yesterday was pretty interesting - quite insightful...she mentioned that there might be lots of tears in times to come, but of course i wasn't expecting them to come today in the middle of a workshop at the happiness conference! luckily i managed to get it under control, but i just felt sad...guess a lot of the discussion (which was great actually - Dr Barbara Fredrickson) was about love and i guess when she asked us to think about someone we love, the first person that came to mind was Ben, and of course, since we are no longer together it just made me sad....

bit of a continuation of yesterday as i ended the day feeling very sad and missing Ben terribly - hadn't happened for a couple of weeks so took me by surprise...

something else i decided on yesterday, which i've probably known all along, but my reading with Petra, kinda just gave me a nudge, was that for the coming months, i should be focussed on myself and my business and not meeting someone...sooooo my feeble attempts in recent weeks have now been put well and truly on the back burner so that i can just focus on me, on getting over Ben, on healing my broken heart....

soooo now it really is all about me and whilst that is great, there is a sadness that goes along with that - i liked considering someone else - of course i think i took it too far with Ben, to my own detriment, but i liked having someone to look out for...just a shame that he didn't look out for me :-(

and of course winter has well and truly arrived which in some ways makes me feel sad too as this is the time of year that Ben and I got together...also realised today, at the happiness conference, which was at the convention centre, that i don't think i've been there since my 2nd date with Ben....so that brought back some memories too....

sooo i think i'm gonna crawl into bed now - my new freshly made bed with the winter doona - and hopefully get a good nights sleep...

nite xx