and that's not really a surprise to anyone who knows me, but i guess whilst with Ben i didn't feed my passion for music like i did previously - i bought kelly clarkson's new (ish) album today and i am playing it full blast (sorry neighbours), and i had forgotten how therapeutic it can be to listen to music that you love...
one good friend suggested that i do a lot of things for me following the breakup - including exercising, and in particular, she mentioned listening to music...not sure why i left it so long, but yesterday i bought 2 cd's - guess honestly, one of the reasons is that whilst Ben was here i didn't buy CD's at all, and i haven't yet worked out how to legally download them!!!
i did manage to get my skype working again today though, and previously having IT issues has been a real reminder of what i am missing with Ben, but i used an online service and it was great - actually, i probably could have worked it out myself, but one of my other little life challenges is asking for help, so kinda nice to find a way to a) ask for help and b) solve a problem that a couple of months ago would have sent me into a spiral...
and don't get me wrong, there are times (although they are fewer and farther between now) when i miss him terribly and when i wonder what will happen to him and find it hard to comprehend that even though we spent nearly 2 years together, now there is nothing...absolutely nothing, and following his curt (actually i thought they were rude) texts to me in the week, for us to talk about now :-(
soooo i am consoling myself this afternoon (doubly coz Carlton got smashed by the Pies...sob) with doing some work for a client i really like and listening to Kelly...
mental note to self: put new KC album on mp3 player...
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