just realised that today marks 4 months since ben and i broke up and i even thought to myself yesterday, i wonder when i will stop making everything relative to when we broke up? guess it's been ok the last month of so - i'm certainly getting on with life (of course, what is the alternative really?), and i miss him less frequently, and bar the odd bad day (of which there were a few during the last month, mostly as a result of me having a bad day in the work space, making it difficult to come home and find no-one here to talk to) i am feeling better i guess...
i still miss him, i still think about him, i often wonder how he is and i still care - probably always will....but that heartbroken, broken, sad person has gone for the most part...occasionally (and this isn't good) she is replaced with a person who's angry at the world, but i think that's more a function of some of the other stuff that's been going on (see sometimes walking away with your head held high)....
i think my holiday is gonna be good - sad in parts (mainly at yankee stadium as i only started watching baseball with ben) but mainly good - seeing people i love and who love me - going to places i love and doing stuff i love...and flying business class (how much do you reckon i am looking forward to a flat bed???)....can't be all bad right?
and of course there will be paris - a conference in paris - how decadent does that sound?
soooo 4 months on and it is getting better....
and happy birthday to my grandma and my dear friend p.a. xxxxx
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