i have some wonderful friends....

even though there is a gaping great hole in my life and the last 3 weeks have been nothing short of torrid, i had a lovely day today...

i spent 4 hours with my best friend sara - we met at bondi junction, had a look around the shops, had a lovely lunch, did some more shopping...found time to chat - and it was just lovely! we have been friends since 1991 and in the last couple of years i haven't seen that much of her - she has been simply fantastic since i broke up with ben and so one of the positives of being on my own again is the amount of time i get to spend with my lovely friends!

then i got home, had about 45 minutes before another friend, Emma, arrived - we had a cuppa and then went off to a movie - not the best movie for us both given we are both still getting over 'the ghost of boyfriends past' but good nonetheless...

i also realised something yesterday: namely that even though ben and i had made no formal commitment to each other, i took my relationship with him very seriously and went into it (not right from the word go, but reasonably early on) assuming it would be forever...so not only have i lost my right now, but the future has also started to look a whole lot shakier that it did when he was here...

this has been hard to deal with and there are some days where i handle it well and others when i don't...guess it's just going to be like that for some time, and rather than me just wishing i could wake up in say 6 or 12 months, i really would probably do better (in the long term, and in future relationships, even though i can't even think about one right now, other than at a very theoretical level) to use this time to get to know myself again, and remember all the things that are important to me...and to do the things i love doing with my many and wonderful friends!