so i watched this movie a coupla months ago, not long before Ben and I broke up...and you know what? it made me really sad that in a relationship i could be so sad for what i saw as the difference between what they had and what we had...
i so desperately wanted that sort of love with Ben...or did I? i'm not sure i did want it with him but i know one thing for sure - i want it! maybe Ben just wasn't the right man for me...and of course that doesn't mean i didn't love him, or that at some time, he didn't love me...but in the end he didn't love me the way i wanted to be loved...to use a carrie-ism inconvenient all consuming love or something like that - that's what i want...
and at least i'm no longer afraid to admit it!
so i want the sort of love they had - real, heartfelt, passionate, lasting (of course he died so maybe it doesn't count)...
would seem that a lot of people are breaking up right now (and not that i compare myself to movie stars)...kate winslet, sandra bullock - is something in the air? does this mean something better is round the corner? my friends keep telling me there is...
so now i need to start believing it, and you know what, when i'm not sad or angry (this isn't a consistent feeling, but pops it's head up every now and again) or feeling lonely (like tonight) then i really do feel positive about what's in store for me!
coz you know what: i really deserve to be happy and i have a lot to offer...my old boss (who's known me since i was 13) said to me a coupla weeks ago that i'd make some man a fabulous wife and you know what: he's bloody well right!
so universe, i am starting to get myself ready!
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