i feel as though i'm in a holding pattern - waiting for something....
am proud of myself though - did manage to go do the food shopping - admittedly i did not go to the woollies that ben and i used to frequent...couldn't muster up that sort of courage, and even in coles at chatswood, where i ended up going, i almost had a teary at one point...seems bizarre to me that even food shopping is (right now at least) a trigger for my sadness and everything i have given up...
given up: interesting concept - what exactly have i given up? well this blog is too public for me to go into that here but it's a good question and one i will have to ponder on...
sooo it seems as though the journey to becoming happy again is gonna take a while and whilst there will be good days, there will also be not so good days and ones where i do just need to sit with how i'm feeling so that i can experience (rather than deny) it...
thankfully a good friend is coming over shortly - so we'll have tea and a chat and then we are going to a movie...
still, it is just so hard sometimes...and one thing i do know (which i wasn't convinced of before ben) is that i would like (when i'm ready) to meet someone, fall in love and share my life with them...
guess it's good to know that :-)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment