Monday, February 15, 2010

it's starting to feel

very final and i think that soon (from ben's perspective) we will have nothing left to talk about and as such, i am experiencing some anxiety around that...

it's kinda hard to think that two people who spent nearly 2 years together, much of that time living together, could end up with nothing left to say to each other...

so i guess i need to prepare myself for that...

it's hard - of course i understand if that's what he wants...perhaps in time i'll see it as a good thing too as it will mean i can truly move forward...that in itself is pretty scary - feels as though my security blanket is about to be ripped out from under me, but when i really think about it, i was his security blanket...

soooo i guess now it's about me accepting what is and grieving for what is not and moving on with my life...

gotta say, i am not a fan of the finality of things - never have been :-(

No comments: