it saddens me that so many

people cannot handle someone else's grief...

in this particular instance i'm talking, of course, about my grief! i'm not sure if this is something that would have annoyed me 5 years ago - not sure - but it annoys me now...

it's almost as if when someone asks 'how are you?' they really don't want to hear how you actually are - society and the 'i'm so busy mentality' seems to have made it ok for them to ask but not actually want to know

so when you actually tell someone how you are and at times in the last few weeks my response has been 'actually not good, pretty sad...' people look at me as if they are uncomfortable

what sort of a world do we live in where people can't even deal with someone else's grief? when really, grief is all around us - i'm not saying that life is hopeless and that there aren't happy moments (of course there are many) but sad things are happening a lot! people die, people get cancer, people are involved in accidents, relationships break down, people get abused etc - this stuff happens in life and it seems as though for the majority of people, just ignoring that and pretending to be ok is ok

well for me, it's categorically not ok! it's not ok to ask someone how they are unless you actually want to know - it's not ok to tell someone who's grieving 'oh you'll be right', it's not welcomed (or at least not by me) to be told 'plenty of fish in the sea' or 'oh you'll meet someone else and so will he'...

fuck, seriously, what is wrong with people - have they forgotten that we are human BEINGS and not human doings? is it so hard to want to listen to someone's real experience? is it so hard to actually just BE with someone whilst they are grieving

and see, i think this is the crux of it all - people think that they have to solve the problem or give advice, when really there is no solution (well in my case there really isn't) and the advice is not wanted..

what most people who are grieving need is space, time, support without judgement and advice and to be heard...

how hard can that be??