Tuesday, February 16, 2010

i'm going to paris, chicago, new york and

downtown northallerton! not exactly in the same league, but then again my reasons for going there are not related to what is there, but who...

so i decided a coupla weeks ago to plan a mid year trip - coupla reasons: firstly, to visit my grandmother who has been having a rough time since my grandfather died and secondly, to give me something to look forward to...

of course my first reaction after telling my grandmother that i was coming, was sheer dread - the fear that having made the commitment i would have to go through with it - and it occured to me that making commitments (after the breakup) was something i found really hard...and it took me a while to work out what was going on there, but i think i have now...

see, i throw myself into things 120% - sometimes more, rarely less! and i did that with my emotional commitment to ben and since we didn't make it i guess i became afraid of making commitments...

so guess i've gotten over that fear of commitment to some extent as i just paid for my trip today...as i said to a friend i'm going shopping in new york, going to a conference in paris and spending some time with good friends and my grandmother...

should be good - bring on june 2nd!

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