i guess pmt will be contributing, i guess the fact that i just watched the susan boyle story will be contributing (all that talk of dreams do come true no matter how old you are etc etc), and of course even though i am getting on with my life and enjoying my work and loving hanging out with my wonderful friends more, there is still the cold hard reality that i am no longer 'in a relationship'...
and sure there was stuff that didn't work and stuff that didn't make me happy and we clearly didn't want the same things - but that doesn't mean we didn't love each other or that now, going our separate ways, we aren't sad...and me, i am sad...not always and it gets better each day, but right now, i'm sad...and whilst my head knows that what i decided was best for me, right now it would be nice to walk into the study and know that he was there....
so i'm going to stay with how i feel (this is one lesson i have learned!) and just acknowledging that i am sad in itself will help...
sadder too that there is no bloody chocolate (or any decent food for that matter) in the cupboard!
methinks it's time to overcome another thing i don't want to do on my own and go shopping...see it's been nearly 5 weeks and as yet i have not ventured out to the woollies we used to go to and done a 'big shop'...i've gotten by on mum's cooking (thanks mum) and just buying things on an as needs basis, which i'm not sure is economically a sound idea!
soooo tomorrow might be the day when i bite the bullet, take the plunge, whatever euphemism you wanna use, and go shopping...
guess the upside to going shopping is that i can, if i want, buy chocolate!
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