as it turns out that even though ben made me feel bad for ending things, he had been thinking about it but couldn't tell me...even though i asked him...
he has said some pretty hurtful things to me in the last few days and whilst i know that it's probably his reaction to what has happened, doesn't diminish the impact on me...
guess when it's all said and done, he didn't love me enough to try and make things better - and i did - i tried my heart out, and did everything i knew possible...
soooo we live and learn i guess...i am hurting deeply, and am sad (although it seems to be lessening slightly as each day passes), i'm lonely (although i was often lonely even when he was there) and i keep wondering when i will feel better about things...
there's gonna be good days and bad - there's gonna be good moments and bad - sometimes of day are worse than others...
so what does one do to get through this stuff? when i figure it out, i'll be happy to share...
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