2009 is almost over...

and now is probably a good time to review what's happened (and i'll try and be brief)...

jan: i had my 40th birthday - had a great night (poker at manly) with most of my closest friends and family...finalised with my boss the 'job situation' and started thinking seriously about what next, did a summer school module and realised that i needed to find a new therapist

feb: uneventful as far as i can tell although this is the time that my grandfather started to deterioriate :-( started my very last subject at ACAP, pre-season afl comp started and carlton showed some good form, i started my placement at RA which was fabulous (reminded me why i had studied counselling)

mar: my redundancy date became official, ben and i celebrated one year together, blues thumped richmond by 83 at the mcg in the season opener, i finished both my summer school assignments leaving only 2 assignments left before graduation, changed back to being a bulldogs fan in the first round of the nrl season and saw a new gastro specialist who told me i was suffering from stress and 'could i leave the job i was in'....

april: my beloved grandfather suffered a massive stroke on 3rd april and passed away on 9th april - truly one of the saddest days of my life - this wonderful man shaped much of who i am today and i miss him terribly :-( the highlight of april was leaving westpac on the same day after much unhappiness i finally felt the sort of freedom i had longed for...the rest of the month was frankly a blur, with the one light being my new therapist! she's a good one and i look forward to doing some fabulous work with her!

may: not sure what happened in may - i felt sad for a lot of reasons - i guess the grief of losing my grandfather became very real, i missed my dad (who was in the uk helping my grandmother), i had no job, no routine and felt a bit lost :-( officially left work and got my redundancy payment (never seen that much money before!) which meant a huge deposit into my mortgage and a seemingly great idea for CBA to assume it was a payment and make changes (not discussed with or approved by me) which buggered everything up! blues continued to show good form and my short lived time as a 'manly fan' felt like ancient history! and made a new friend - used to work together at WBC and met her at a girls lunch...

june: i just loved being off work as the weather started to change and i could enjoy my daily walk in the middle of the day and in the sun :-) i finished my 140 hours of placement so that i can graduate from ACAP, and i remembered my good friend Sparra, who passed away in June 2007

july: more winter walks were enjoyed, had a trip home to Canberra to see my parents, my Dad brought home my grandfather's dominoes/trophy for me (a very special present), my first paying coaching client signed up, we got a new ISP/phone number, I bought a dvd player that works with usb and someone i really want to work with emailed me to say she would like me to join them as a facilitator!!!

august: ben celebrated his birthday (we did it in style with lunch at Cafe Sydney), i finally read the Great Gatsby (and loved it), i read plenty of other good books and had my first session with my first client...

september: sadly, did not spend 'september in melbourne' but Carlton did make it to the finals, started working on my website, had business cards designed and printed (they are fabulous), my nephew turned 8 (oh my god, it makes me feel old - i remember holding him when he was just a few hours old), and i realised that i'd been off work for 5 months and really had nothing to show for it! enjoyed a fabulous lunch at cafe sydney with wendy (one of my dearest friends, who was here from the us for a month)...it was lovely to chill over a long lunch :-)

october: marked 6 months of not working and you know, it seemed like 5 minutes! lots of the things i wanted to do at the outset, were still not done (shoe cataloguing, selling stuff on ebay, general 'spring cleaning' etc)...my website went live, picked up a few more clients, the bulb in our study light blew, and whilst trying to replace it, we managed to pull the whole fixture out of the ceiling (the only reason i note this is that it is now over 2 months since then, and the light remains unfixed!!), i suffered my first ever migraine (all bad), i read 'eat pray love' and absolutely loved it, i vowed to start meditation, and i read the kite runner: without a doubt the saddest book i have ever read but one of the most beautiful, heartfelt and real...

november: a busy month! i did 2 4 day courses (one of them i still need to submit assignments to finish) but the other i passed with flying colours...made a great connection at one of the courses and all going well by end of Feb will be accredited to deliver the course! discovered a new author (richard mason) and devoured 2 of his books, discovered the library and borrowed 6 books (just love the idea that i can 'test' out an author before buying his/her work - why didn't i think of this before?), had a nice shopping day with my Mum at Birkenhead Point, bought a new (and bloody fabulously comfy) bed and started thinking about xmas....and I graduated from my counselling course...well done me!

december: a busy month marred by illness (had a sinus and chest infection), saw clients, read books, did shopping, sent some xmas cards but didn't manage to get around to everyone i would have liked to send cards to, had a great xmas eve with ben's family and a lovely few days over xmas with my M & D, watched plenty of cricket and the last thing i do before 2010 will be to make (and eat) a berry/cream pavlova with benny...

sooo how would i summarise 2009: one marred with sadness and grief, one filled with opportunities, one where i think i finally learned patience and a year where the little girl inside of me finally found her voice (i haven't blogged about this because it's too raw right now but my therapist, my outplacement consultant, and my supervisor to be have been fabulously supportive of me finding that voice and having the courage to help her be heard - so far so good!)...remembering that 'this too shall pass' is one of the truest adages ever uttered, and that good friends are to be treasured....

wishing all my friends a happy, healthy, fulfilling and memorable 2010....

love sarah
xxx