and now is probably a good time to review what's happened (and i'll try and be brief)...
jan: i had my 40th birthday - had a great night (poker at manly) with most of my closest friends and family...finalised with my boss the 'job situation' and started thinking seriously about what next, did a summer school module and realised that i needed to find a new therapist
feb: uneventful as far as i can tell although this is the time that my grandfather started to deterioriate :-( started my very last subject at ACAP, pre-season afl comp started and carlton showed some good form, i started my placement at RA which was fabulous (reminded me why i had studied counselling)
mar: my redundancy date became official, ben and i celebrated one year together, blues thumped richmond by 83 at the mcg in the season opener, i finished both my summer school assignments leaving only 2 assignments left before graduation, changed back to being a bulldogs fan in the first round of the nrl season and saw a new gastro specialist who told me i was suffering from stress and 'could i leave the job i was in'....
april: my beloved grandfather suffered a massive stroke on 3rd april and passed away on 9th april - truly one of the saddest days of my life - this wonderful man shaped much of who i am today and i miss him terribly :-( the highlight of april was leaving westpac on the same day after much unhappiness i finally felt the sort of freedom i had longed for...the rest of the month was frankly a blur, with the one light being my new therapist! she's a good one and i look forward to doing some fabulous work with her!
may: not sure what happened in may - i felt sad for a lot of reasons - i guess the grief of losing my grandfather became very real, i missed my dad (who was in the uk helping my grandmother), i had no job, no routine and felt a bit lost :-( officially left work and got my redundancy payment (never seen that much money before!) which meant a huge deposit into my mortgage and a seemingly great idea for CBA to assume it was a payment and make changes (not discussed with or approved by me) which buggered everything up! blues continued to show good form and my short lived time as a 'manly fan' felt like ancient history! and made a new friend - used to work together at WBC and met her at a girls lunch...
june: i just loved being off work as the weather started to change and i could enjoy my daily walk in the middle of the day and in the sun :-) i finished my 140 hours of placement so that i can graduate from ACAP, and i remembered my good friend Sparra, who passed away in June 2007
july: more winter walks were enjoyed, had a trip home to Canberra to see my parents, my Dad brought home my grandfather's dominoes/trophy for me (a very special present), my first paying coaching client signed up, we got a new ISP/phone number, I bought a dvd player that works with usb and someone i really want to work with emailed me to say she would like me to join them as a facilitator!!!
august: ben celebrated his birthday (we did it in style with lunch at Cafe Sydney), i finally read the Great Gatsby (and loved it), i read plenty of other good books and had my first session with my first client...
september: sadly, did not spend 'september in melbourne' but Carlton did make it to the finals, started working on my website, had business cards designed and printed (they are fabulous), my nephew turned 8 (oh my god, it makes me feel old - i remember holding him when he was just a few hours old), and i realised that i'd been off work for 5 months and really had nothing to show for it! enjoyed a fabulous lunch at cafe sydney with wendy (one of my dearest friends, who was here from the us for a month)...it was lovely to chill over a long lunch :-)
october: marked 6 months of not working and you know, it seemed like 5 minutes! lots of the things i wanted to do at the outset, were still not done (shoe cataloguing, selling stuff on ebay, general 'spring cleaning' etc)...my website went live, picked up a few more clients, the bulb in our study light blew, and whilst trying to replace it, we managed to pull the whole fixture out of the ceiling (the only reason i note this is that it is now over 2 months since then, and the light remains unfixed!!), i suffered my first ever migraine (all bad), i read 'eat pray love' and absolutely loved it, i vowed to start meditation, and i read the kite runner: without a doubt the saddest book i have ever read but one of the most beautiful, heartfelt and real...
november: a busy month! i did 2 4 day courses (one of them i still need to submit assignments to finish) but the other i passed with flying colours...made a great connection at one of the courses and all going well by end of Feb will be accredited to deliver the course! discovered a new author (richard mason) and devoured 2 of his books, discovered the library and borrowed 6 books (just love the idea that i can 'test' out an author before buying his/her work - why didn't i think of this before?), had a nice shopping day with my Mum at Birkenhead Point, bought a new (and bloody fabulously comfy) bed and started thinking about xmas....and I graduated from my counselling course...well done me!
december: a busy month marred by illness (had a sinus and chest infection), saw clients, read books, did shopping, sent some xmas cards but didn't manage to get around to everyone i would have liked to send cards to, had a great xmas eve with ben's family and a lovely few days over xmas with my M & D, watched plenty of cricket and the last thing i do before 2010 will be to make (and eat) a berry/cream pavlova with benny...
sooo how would i summarise 2009: one marred with sadness and grief, one filled with opportunities, one where i think i finally learned patience and a year where the little girl inside of me finally found her voice (i haven't blogged about this because it's too raw right now but my therapist, my outplacement consultant, and my supervisor to be have been fabulously supportive of me finding that voice and having the courage to help her be heard - so far so good!)...remembering that 'this too shall pass' is one of the truest adages ever uttered, and that good friends are to be treasured....
wishing all my friends a happy, healthy, fulfilling and memorable 2010....
love sarah
xxx
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
it's only been 11 days but sooo much has happened...
it's amazing how much can happen in just 11 short days...
so firstly, meeting with broker went very well and once they recieve a profile from me (I have to write this), then they will be able to 'introduce me' to their clients and get me some work...
xmas was fantastic, bar a short stint in hospital for Ben the night of the 23rd (he's fine now, thanks) - we spent Xmas Eve with his family - his Mum spoiled us rotten - we had a lovely afternoon with them, even though the Evster (our 15 month old nephew) was a bit overwhelmed - reckon he'll enjoy it more next Xmas...then we drove to Canberra - didn't see one cop on the way and got home safely just after 9pm (had an uneventful drive - reckon we've cracked it now - leave Sydney just after 6.30pm and you virtually have the road all to yourself)...had a great Xmas Day with my M & D and Lynne, Graham and Natalie (our oldest family friends, barring their son Paul)...ate, drank and played trivial pursuit, and generally had a fantastic (if not wet - nearly 50 mls of rain in Canberra on Xmas Day) day...
spent another few days in Canberra watching cricket, eating mince pies, visiting with various family friends and then came home late on 27th...again an easy and uneventful drive and very little traffic :-)
i am still wearing the earrings that Ben's mum bought me - they are just gorgeous - blue and clear crystals set in silver - could they be more perfect? and we've eaten our way thru some of the xmas goodies we got - still some to go!
will be doing quite a bit of 'training' and 'strategising' in Jan and Feb (as well as seeing clients, of course) which will see me head out to Elanora Heights, Curl Curl and Melbourne (4 days in early Feb)...the Melb trip is so that i can attend a 'train the trainer' session for a company who's coaching course i did in Nov this year - i loved it so much i asked them if they wanted a Sydney based facilitator and they said YES - very exciting! The trip to Curl Curl is only a day and is another accreditation - this time for an amazing leadership course - one that I did years ago and am really keen to help facilitate and run :-) and then Elanora Heights is a 4 hour meeting with Mandy and her MD hubbie to talk about my involvement/role in their business going forward - so much to do and soooo little time!
so perhaps this means that i should clean up the study so that i have a 'clean' workspace...it's one of those jobs i hate doing, although i always feel so much better once i've done it! perhaps i just need to bite the bullet...
ok, might do another post now - the year in review.....
au revoir xx
so firstly, meeting with broker went very well and once they recieve a profile from me (I have to write this), then they will be able to 'introduce me' to their clients and get me some work...
xmas was fantastic, bar a short stint in hospital for Ben the night of the 23rd (he's fine now, thanks) - we spent Xmas Eve with his family - his Mum spoiled us rotten - we had a lovely afternoon with them, even though the Evster (our 15 month old nephew) was a bit overwhelmed - reckon he'll enjoy it more next Xmas...then we drove to Canberra - didn't see one cop on the way and got home safely just after 9pm (had an uneventful drive - reckon we've cracked it now - leave Sydney just after 6.30pm and you virtually have the road all to yourself)...had a great Xmas Day with my M & D and Lynne, Graham and Natalie (our oldest family friends, barring their son Paul)...ate, drank and played trivial pursuit, and generally had a fantastic (if not wet - nearly 50 mls of rain in Canberra on Xmas Day) day...
spent another few days in Canberra watching cricket, eating mince pies, visiting with various family friends and then came home late on 27th...again an easy and uneventful drive and very little traffic :-)
i am still wearing the earrings that Ben's mum bought me - they are just gorgeous - blue and clear crystals set in silver - could they be more perfect? and we've eaten our way thru some of the xmas goodies we got - still some to go!
will be doing quite a bit of 'training' and 'strategising' in Jan and Feb (as well as seeing clients, of course) which will see me head out to Elanora Heights, Curl Curl and Melbourne (4 days in early Feb)...the Melb trip is so that i can attend a 'train the trainer' session for a company who's coaching course i did in Nov this year - i loved it so much i asked them if they wanted a Sydney based facilitator and they said YES - very exciting! The trip to Curl Curl is only a day and is another accreditation - this time for an amazing leadership course - one that I did years ago and am really keen to help facilitate and run :-) and then Elanora Heights is a 4 hour meeting with Mandy and her MD hubbie to talk about my involvement/role in their business going forward - so much to do and soooo little time!
so perhaps this means that i should clean up the study so that i have a 'clean' workspace...it's one of those jobs i hate doing, although i always feel so much better once i've done it! perhaps i just need to bite the bullet...
ok, might do another post now - the year in review.....
au revoir xx
Friday, December 18, 2009
and i thought vacuuming was bad...
well today, after heading to the jewellers to pick up my new ring (yep, the xmas present to self) and dropping in the diamond ring so they could source and then replace the diamond that fell out after cleaning, i decided that i would clean the house - meaning, that essentially, i had given up hope of finding the diamond as ben and i spent so long looking i figured it must have either gone down the sink or found it's way into someone's xmas present...
so i'm a few minutes into vacuuming the lounge when i lift up the rug and see something sparkly - tiny but sparkly - and on further inspection, it turns out to be the missing diamond!
so, even though it needs to be re-fitted, at least i don't have to pay for the replacement diamond!
thank you universe :-)
so now i'm left wondering what the message in all of this was? funnier too is that i had a dream that i found the diamond (although i did not find it where i found it in the dream) and was really disappointed when i woke up to realise that the dream wasn't true...
that's not uncommon right now though - i seem to wake up a lot feeling disappointed that my dreams aren't real - guess that's a message in itself...probably warrants some further investigation...
one of my good friends today suggested to me that perhaps some of my 'malaise' is due to not having a routine and by routine she means the routine of a job...
mmmm gonna give that one some consideration!
nite
xx
so i'm a few minutes into vacuuming the lounge when i lift up the rug and see something sparkly - tiny but sparkly - and on further inspection, it turns out to be the missing diamond!
so, even though it needs to be re-fitted, at least i don't have to pay for the replacement diamond!
thank you universe :-)
so now i'm left wondering what the message in all of this was? funnier too is that i had a dream that i found the diamond (although i did not find it where i found it in the dream) and was really disappointed when i woke up to realise that the dream wasn't true...
that's not uncommon right now though - i seem to wake up a lot feeling disappointed that my dreams aren't real - guess that's a message in itself...probably warrants some further investigation...
one of my good friends today suggested to me that perhaps some of my 'malaise' is due to not having a routine and by routine she means the routine of a job...
mmmm gonna give that one some consideration!
nite
xx
Thursday, December 17, 2009
what sort of message do you think
the universe is sending me?
see today i lost a diamond in my ring - and this is the 3rd time in 4 years that it's happened :-(
do you think it's a co-incidence that as i went to have a new ring (my xmas present to self) fitted, the jeweller said he'd clean my old ring...which he did - it looked amazing
it looked amazing that was until it is now missing a diamond - thankfully it's a ring with a stack of diamonds (more than 20) so even if i have to pay (which i'm seriously hoping i won't) to have it replaced, won't cost me as much as if i'd lost a big diamond....
but how can this happen to me? usually i look for the message in pretty much everything, believing that there is a message even if we can't see it at the time, but honestly, i just don't get this message at all...
i mean seriously, don't i have enough going on right now?
anyway, so it'll be an interesting trip back to the jewellers tomorrow - and don't get me wrong, this is a good and reputable jeweller and one i like very much...but even so it leaves me wandering what to make of it all
perhaps sleeping on it will help and if not, then pls pls pls pls universe, if you could help me find the diamond, that would be very much appreciated...and not like we didn't try - ben and i turned off all the lights and went around the entire house with his desk lamp to see if we could find it...
to no avail...
ok, going now - don't feel like it's been a good day (long story - won't be going into it here) and now this...just makes me feel a bit sad :-(
see today i lost a diamond in my ring - and this is the 3rd time in 4 years that it's happened :-(
do you think it's a co-incidence that as i went to have a new ring (my xmas present to self) fitted, the jeweller said he'd clean my old ring...which he did - it looked amazing
it looked amazing that was until it is now missing a diamond - thankfully it's a ring with a stack of diamonds (more than 20) so even if i have to pay (which i'm seriously hoping i won't) to have it replaced, won't cost me as much as if i'd lost a big diamond....
but how can this happen to me? usually i look for the message in pretty much everything, believing that there is a message even if we can't see it at the time, but honestly, i just don't get this message at all...
i mean seriously, don't i have enough going on right now?
anyway, so it'll be an interesting trip back to the jewellers tomorrow - and don't get me wrong, this is a good and reputable jeweller and one i like very much...but even so it leaves me wandering what to make of it all
perhaps sleeping on it will help and if not, then pls pls pls pls universe, if you could help me find the diamond, that would be very much appreciated...and not like we didn't try - ben and i turned off all the lights and went around the entire house with his desk lamp to see if we could find it...
to no avail...
ok, going now - don't feel like it's been a good day (long story - won't be going into it here) and now this...just makes me feel a bit sad :-(
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
i'm slowly slowly starting...
to feel better, but man it's taking way too long for my liking...so today is day 8 since i started to feel sick (sore throat, headache etc) and now after 4 full days of antibiotics i am still very congested and still coughing like some long time smoker :-(
i'm a bit over it to be honest, and as my sister says, gotta get myself better for all the mince pie action! see my mum makes the most amazing mince pies and i am looking forward to sampling many many of them when we get to my parents late on xmas eve...my 8 year old nephew is even clued in to how good they are - so much so, last year, he asked my mum to send him 100 to melbourne - and guess what: she did! well, not 100, but at least 2 dozen...
sooo i'm trying hard to get better - i'm doing all the right things, including taking the drugs, eating healthy food, taking vitamin c, drinking plenty of fluids, resting a LOT...sooooo why aren't i better yet?
on to other more exciting matters: work is coming along nicely! i now have 8 paying clients with a possibility for 2 more in coming weeks (i'm waiting for one client to get paid work before i start charging her and another former employee is now trying to get her employer to pay for some coaching)...i'm meeting up with a broker next week (my initial phone call with her was VERY encouraging), i'm having a phone call tomorrow with a lady who runs a company that does coaching training (i did the course recently and loved it so much i want to deliver it here in Sydney), i'm getting my brochures this week so then i can leave them in strategic places, and another lady who runs an amazing management course/coaching has offered me a chance to become accredited with them....
it's funny but i think that me learning some patience has in fact helped me be successful - that sounds kinda weird right - but i think it's true - i also think (and i told my therapist this today) that patience also means i am a better person and consequently more open and receptive to things, trusting that they come when they are intended, rather than previously i may have been resentful of things that came, but not in my timeframes....interesting learning!
xmas is now only just over 15 days away - good thing is i'm almost finished with my xmas shopping, although i have been remiss this year and probably won't get xmas cards to all my aussie based friends - overseas friends of course, have been looked after - i just hope me mailing them today will mean they get there before xmas!!!
had a weird dream lastnight - was with my parents having dinner with some blokes - one who claimed he knew a guy i used to work with but when he described him, didn't sound like him at all - and in the dream, dad and i were walking down this large wide stone (big sandstone) corridor and i was telling him about a dream i had the night before about my grandfather (who died earlier this year) - in the dream within the dream i dreamt that my grandfather was happy and contented with where he was now...unnerving but also nice in some way :-) i do hope that wherever my grandfather is, whichever spot in the universe his soul is occupying, whichever bright star in the sky he is behind, i hope he is happy and watching over me...he is never far from my mind, even though he is now physically gone from us...
ok this is now becoming a novel so i'm going to go to bed and pick up a new novel - another new library book - finished the 2nd of 5 i borrowed the other week - just loving that richard mason - although 'the drowning people' was much better (in my opinion) than 'us'...next an anne tyler - it looks familiar so i'm wondering if in fact i have it on my bookshelf - buried 2 deep so it can't be seen!
nite
xx
i'm a bit over it to be honest, and as my sister says, gotta get myself better for all the mince pie action! see my mum makes the most amazing mince pies and i am looking forward to sampling many many of them when we get to my parents late on xmas eve...my 8 year old nephew is even clued in to how good they are - so much so, last year, he asked my mum to send him 100 to melbourne - and guess what: she did! well, not 100, but at least 2 dozen...
sooo i'm trying hard to get better - i'm doing all the right things, including taking the drugs, eating healthy food, taking vitamin c, drinking plenty of fluids, resting a LOT...sooooo why aren't i better yet?
on to other more exciting matters: work is coming along nicely! i now have 8 paying clients with a possibility for 2 more in coming weeks (i'm waiting for one client to get paid work before i start charging her and another former employee is now trying to get her employer to pay for some coaching)...i'm meeting up with a broker next week (my initial phone call with her was VERY encouraging), i'm having a phone call tomorrow with a lady who runs a company that does coaching training (i did the course recently and loved it so much i want to deliver it here in Sydney), i'm getting my brochures this week so then i can leave them in strategic places, and another lady who runs an amazing management course/coaching has offered me a chance to become accredited with them....
it's funny but i think that me learning some patience has in fact helped me be successful - that sounds kinda weird right - but i think it's true - i also think (and i told my therapist this today) that patience also means i am a better person and consequently more open and receptive to things, trusting that they come when they are intended, rather than previously i may have been resentful of things that came, but not in my timeframes....interesting learning!
xmas is now only just over 15 days away - good thing is i'm almost finished with my xmas shopping, although i have been remiss this year and probably won't get xmas cards to all my aussie based friends - overseas friends of course, have been looked after - i just hope me mailing them today will mean they get there before xmas!!!
had a weird dream lastnight - was with my parents having dinner with some blokes - one who claimed he knew a guy i used to work with but when he described him, didn't sound like him at all - and in the dream, dad and i were walking down this large wide stone (big sandstone) corridor and i was telling him about a dream i had the night before about my grandfather (who died earlier this year) - in the dream within the dream i dreamt that my grandfather was happy and contented with where he was now...unnerving but also nice in some way :-) i do hope that wherever my grandfather is, whichever spot in the universe his soul is occupying, whichever bright star in the sky he is behind, i hope he is happy and watching over me...he is never far from my mind, even though he is now physically gone from us...
ok this is now becoming a novel so i'm going to go to bed and pick up a new novel - another new library book - finished the 2nd of 5 i borrowed the other week - just loving that richard mason - although 'the drowning people' was much better (in my opinion) than 'us'...next an anne tyler - it looks familiar so i'm wondering if in fact i have it on my bookshelf - buried 2 deep so it can't be seen!
nite
xx
Saturday, December 5, 2009
i'm sick....
and not only that, i'm sick of being sick!
not like i'm seriously ill (thankfully) but since wednesday morning i have felt like crap and it doesn't look like it's going to leave anytime soon - it is now getting to the point where it hurts to breathe...methinks that it might actually warrant seeing a doctor....groan...
what else do i have to report? well not a great deal - although i think that last week may have seen 3 potential new clients come my way (one confirmed, two to be confirmed), confirmation of 'interest' by a melb based company i really want to do some work with, another syd based company (whom i love) have agreed to put me on their 'coaching and counselling referral panel', and i still haven't even made the call to the 2 brokers whom another contact uses and gets a LOT of work from...
so the business side of things is progressing nicely!
ok it's off to bed for me - i have another big day of cricket watching tomorrow - as well as needing to put clean sheets (don't you love the feel and smell of freshly washed sheets?) on the bed and do the food shopping - big day i hear you saying!!!
nite
xx
not like i'm seriously ill (thankfully) but since wednesday morning i have felt like crap and it doesn't look like it's going to leave anytime soon - it is now getting to the point where it hurts to breathe...methinks that it might actually warrant seeing a doctor....groan...
what else do i have to report? well not a great deal - although i think that last week may have seen 3 potential new clients come my way (one confirmed, two to be confirmed), confirmation of 'interest' by a melb based company i really want to do some work with, another syd based company (whom i love) have agreed to put me on their 'coaching and counselling referral panel', and i still haven't even made the call to the 2 brokers whom another contact uses and gets a LOT of work from...
so the business side of things is progressing nicely!
ok it's off to bed for me - i have another big day of cricket watching tomorrow - as well as needing to put clean sheets (don't you love the feel and smell of freshly washed sheets?) on the bed and do the food shopping - big day i hear you saying!!!
nite
xx
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
i graduated today...
yep! and it's not the first time i've graduated from a tertiary course - actually it's the 3rd time but this one feels the most special and by far the one that over the long term, the qualification i will use in my life's work...
pretty chuffed with myself! this time a year ago, before i decided to position myself for retrenchment, that i would have graduated from my Grad Dip Counselling, have gained MBTI accreditation, be doing a coaching course, and running my own coaching/counselling business?
it's hard to believe some days and the other week on the train i actually had to pinch myself as it occurred to me that i am now, after much hard work and perseverance, living my dream...
no small feat i can tell you, but absolutely worth of all the crap along the way...and much as i would like to go into the crap, i want this to be a positive post, so i'll leave it where it belongs - in the past...
so congratulations to me! i am a star!
it's amazing how things can change in the course of a day: this morning as i was preparing for my first 'observation' of a fantastic programme that soon i will be facilitating, i was wondering where future business in the way of coaching clients might come from...turns out the person i had lunch with (used to work for me) wants me to coach her - another grad whom i mentored for a while at my previous work wants me to provide her with some training (her work - my old work will pay) and one of the participants in the programme i was at this morning asked me for my card...
sooo it's coming together and this is before i've done any serious advertising or talking to brokers - all of which is going to be organised prior to Xmas!
ok, going to bed now - despite the good stuff, it has been a very emotionally taxing day (and i'm not going to write about that here...)
nite xx
pretty chuffed with myself! this time a year ago, before i decided to position myself for retrenchment, that i would have graduated from my Grad Dip Counselling, have gained MBTI accreditation, be doing a coaching course, and running my own coaching/counselling business?
it's hard to believe some days and the other week on the train i actually had to pinch myself as it occurred to me that i am now, after much hard work and perseverance, living my dream...
no small feat i can tell you, but absolutely worth of all the crap along the way...and much as i would like to go into the crap, i want this to be a positive post, so i'll leave it where it belongs - in the past...
so congratulations to me! i am a star!
it's amazing how things can change in the course of a day: this morning as i was preparing for my first 'observation' of a fantastic programme that soon i will be facilitating, i was wondering where future business in the way of coaching clients might come from...turns out the person i had lunch with (used to work for me) wants me to coach her - another grad whom i mentored for a while at my previous work wants me to provide her with some training (her work - my old work will pay) and one of the participants in the programme i was at this morning asked me for my card...
sooo it's coming together and this is before i've done any serious advertising or talking to brokers - all of which is going to be organised prior to Xmas!
ok, going to bed now - despite the good stuff, it has been a very emotionally taxing day (and i'm not going to write about that here...)
nite xx
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