eat pray love

i'm soooooooooooo annoyed, i just wrote the most amazing post and it's gone - into the ether! anyway i'll try and re-create it!

eat pray love is what i'm reading now - a welcome relief following the trauma that reading the kite runner was for me - admittedly the kite runner will go into my top ten favourite books - it was beautiful and heartfelt and real and so much about the human condition that it will never leave me - hopefully the sadness of it will!

so in late 2006 my wonderful coach kathleen gave me 'eat pray love' which has sat on the shelf (like many other books do -this one was not singled out in that regard) ever since - i felt that after the kite runner i needed something much lighter and a friend had only last week suggested eat pray love

so i'm now almost 2/3rds through it and it's fabulous - it's funny, real and poignant - one woman's journey - and i'm LOVING it! and whilst i won't be rushing off to india or an ashram anytime soon. can you see me getting up at 3am more than once to sing/pray?? methinks not!!! it has renewed my interest in learning to meditate - for years i have listened to others talk about the benefits of meditation and i think i might just be ready!

see one of my big issues, and one i constantly tell my therapist i'd like to change, is the noise in my head - i wish there was a button that i could simply push to turn it off or some way of achieving the 'quiet' that i know must be there somewhere, but no matter what, the noise remains - so perhaps meditation might actually help me get there - ironically the very thing that has put me off meditation is the fact that i don't think i'll be good at it! but as i tell almost every single person that i work with in a coaching capacity, learning as an adult isn't like learning as a child - it's harder to make change when you're older - not to mention the fear of looking like an idiot is now very much a real fear, whereas when you were 5 and learning to ride a bike, nobody, including you gave a toss about how you looked if you fell off a bike...

so i am going to go into this with an open mind and some kindness towards myself and a reminder that i will be LEARNING - i don't expect to become a zen master after only 1 class!!

so i'm looking into that - have in fact found a 1 hour once a week drop in class in north sydney - i mike this - not much commitment which means i won't have to withdraw if my business suddenly takes off - and therein lies another issue i have - not wanting to disappoint people - what is with that? surely the only person that would be disappointed if i withdrew for good reason would be me...mmm might have to think about that one...

sooo meditation is coming, i've made contact about volunteer work, i've followed up some work leads, am seeing more friends whilst the work isn't busy and i must finish my website content - i've imposed a deadline of sunday on myself in an attempt to have the entire thing finished, reviewed and live by end of october...

soooo even if you aren't religious (i'm not, not in a traditional organised sense anyway) this is a fantastic read....