week, and i'm wondering how much of it is really within my control...my moods seem to be so much a factor of the external environment and i'm not liking it - not one little bit...it has me questioning who i am, what my value is, what my worth is, and how has it come to this?
is it just a bad patch?
is it just a couple of bad days in the inevitable post redundancy rollercoaster?
i'm not really sure: what i am sure about is that i would really value from talking to someone and so should just get off my arse and call sallyanne to make an appointment...
but then something good happened - i got an email from someone i used to work with - someone who has asked me for some very personal advice and it just reminded me of my worth.....
not to say i'm bouncing off the walls, but i sat here able to smile and reflect and to try and re-connect with the essence of me that i really like and am really proud of - the essence in me that has other people bringing me into their lives and into their decisions...
gotta try and remember some of that stuff!
my dad said something to me once (not sure if he was referring to me, or the relationship between him and my mother - of course i didn't ask, and it's not relevant...) - he said that we have to make our own happiness...and he's so right, we absolutely do...
so why is it somedays, i forget that, and rely far too heavily on the external stuff? i really should know better - as what i can say almost always is the case, relying on the other stuff just doesn't work...
so herein lies the lesson of the day: go and do some more work on the within and perhaps the inevitable rollercoaster will be a more enjoyable ride!!
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