and now that i've just finished a task i have been dreading and putting off for some time, i think i might just crawl into bed with my latest country style magazine...
it's been a tough few weeks...many many tests from the universe have landed at my feet - sadly they all seem to have landed at once so my resilience has really been tested...sometimes i think i have succeeded, and other times not...but at least i am still here to tell the story and for the first time in weeks, i feel that a weight has been lifted from my shoulders...
see i decided to end a relationship in my life that has been key over the last 2 - 3 years...and don't get me wrong, this has not been an easy decision - moreso over a period of time it just hasn't felt right (it never felt wrong, it just didn't feel right) and a couple of things i learned at school last week actually made me look at my feelings in a fresh light...then the decision was clear but the 'how' became a source of stress and anxiety...
eventually of course i came to my own decision about the how and whilst some might not support my means, i know in my heart that it was the best i could do right now and whilst the person on the receiving end might not appreciate or acknowledge that, in no way does my 'how' undermine how important a part of my life and journey she has been over the time i have known her...
i am however going to do my best to end the day on a positive note and in doing so recount a meeting i had this morning - with a younger woman i have been coaching for nearly a year...we had a fabulous session today. not only was it good to see her, not only did we have a really good session but i was also confident enough (given my recent experiences with dual relationships) to discuss with her our 'future arrangements' - see when we started working together i made it clear to her that i wasn't yet a qualified counsellor so we would do 'coaching' and today i suggested to her that rather than 'switch' to a counselling relationship once i am qualified (june this year) that if she was ok to do so, that we should continue with things as they are..
i got to explain to her why it was important for us to not move into a counselling framework (putting all the learnings of the last week at school into practice) and i felt good doing it - i felt that above all, even though it would be easy for us to simply move into something else, it actually wouldn't be the right thing for her, not to mention probably unethical! she agreed...
working with her reminds me of what a privelege it is to be with someone as they discover more about who they are, and reminds me that i do in fact have purpose in my life even though some days it seems like i may never get to live it, and even though right now it's not what i am paid to do i know that one day in the not too distant future, it is what i'll be doing...
so onwards and upwards :-)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment