that's really the only way i can describe how i feel....about work! loads of changes which usually i would see as nothing but opportunity but right now i seem to be incapable of finding anything positive in it all...
so i have only been in this new gig (in fact read as new career altogether despite being with the same company i've been with for nearly six years) for 9 months and in the space of a week have lost my favourite customer (i only had two but this one was my favourite), one of my staff (i had 3), my other customer (the non favourite one - the one whom i have had a rocky ride with - but finally after 8 or so months i felt as though our working relationship had reached a good place) who has taken on a bigger role for a few months, he has been replaced (only temporarily) by someone i neither respect nor like (and am doubtful i can learn anything from), my boss has resigned so he's leaving (this is not good - nice guy, high integrity, knows heaps about HR).....so you can see, there is a LOT of change and it's not over yet! the next week is supposed to be when we find out what is going on and hopefully get some stability.....
so why i am i so anxious (and anxious is a good word - i really am - i'm not sleeping that well, and i'm a bit temperamental - this won't be helped by PMT but all the same, i'm on the edge!) is that i am seeing decisions made in a way that demonstrates no integrity, and nor for that matter, the values that the company i work for espouses....and i guess i am nervous that with a couple of key advocates out of the way i may get forgotten about as the jobs are handed out...
so you see there's a lot going on in my head! seems the voices haven't really been quietened in the last fortnight or so, and i wonder why i was a feeling a little out of control....guess i hadn't realised how much of a toll this was taking on me (and my sanity!)...
anyway, a lazy morning followed by some long overdue cleaning of my lovely little home, followed by a picnic with ben at balmoral this afternoon, then a little bit of tv research (yes it is called research when you are looking to buy a new tv!), a nap and some law and order and in a minute an early night and a good book....and yes, i feel much better, much more myself, a little less concerned about what might happen at work and very much looking forward to my bank holiday tomorrow (yippee!)...
guess there are times when we all need to get back to basics and the things that are important to us and with everything going on in the last few weeks i haven't had any me time - something i used to have a LOT of (that's being single for you) and in recent times haven't had a chance to do
mental note to self: remember that having time for oneself is essential to sanity....
nite
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